Long-distance relationships (LDRs) with Filipino women present unique challenges that couples nearby don’t face. I’ve tried several long-distance relationships with women in the Philippines and they have usually fizzled because of a lack of consistency or an indefinite date of my return to the Philippines.
The best way to maintain a long-distance relationship (LDR) with a woman in the Philippines, is to prioritize communication by scheduling consistent video calls and chatting through text every single day. Also, prioritize holidays, like her birthday and Christmas to emphasize that you care about her. At times, you may also need to send her some money to cover her cellphone data usage and other expenses.
Physical distance makes communication and intimacy more difficult, especially considering the difference in time zones, and can put a strain on the relationship over time.
However, many couples, including myself, have made this long-distance work successfully, by following a few simple strategies. With commitment, trust, consistency, and the right strategies for communication and bonding, a loving relationship can flourish across oceans.
This guide will explore the keys to making a long-distance relationship with a Filipina girlfriend successful. We’ll cover cultural factors, building intimacy from afar, communication tactics, visiting each other when possible, integrating family successfully, and transitioning to living together someday. While challenging, Filipina-Western relationships over distance can work out wonderfully in the end.
Also see: The Ultimate Guide To Dating Women In The Philippines
Building Trust With Regular Communication
Building trust in a long-distance relationship takes effort, but is possible with some key strategies. According to WikiHow, it’s important to have regular communication to stay connected. The key concept here is consistency. Set aside dedicated times for phone or video calls to catch up on each other’s lives. Never go longer than a few days without contact. Share openly and be emotionally vulnerable to deepen intimacy from afar.
Another key element is following through consistently over time. Do what you say you’ll do, whether it’s calling when you promise, making plans together, or being faithful. Consistency helps reassure your partner and build a pattern of reliability.
Don’t overpromise though – manage expectations and avoid saying things just to appease your partner in the moment. In my experience, Filipinas can tend to visualize your plans together (getting married, taking trips, etc.). Be sure to mean what you say and don’t create false hopes because they can lead to emotional heartbreak for her.
Lastly, according to Rachel Vida’s LinkedIn article, let your Filipina girlfriend know you’re thinking of them in little ways. Send sweet texts, gifts, or even handwritten letters. These physical reminders help reinforce your emotional connection when you can’t be together physically.
Give Gifts On Holidays
In the Philippines, an extreme emphasis is placed on holidays, perhaps even more so than in my home country, the United States. Christmas music begins playing in the malls in September and lasts into January. Birthdays are also very important, where they typically go all out with food and small gifts and often have 50 or more people in attendance.
A birthday cake and flowers will go a long way with your Filipina girlfriend to show that you care about her. What I have done in the past, is use an online birthday cake/flower shop, like Flower Chimp, for example. There are numerous other options available online. But, these services will take out all the hassle. All you need to do is purchase the cake or flowers online and provide her address, and they will reliably deliver it to your girlfriend.
Another option if you want to hand-pick gift items is to use the premier online delivery company in the Philippines – Lazada. It is similar to using Amazon in the United States and other Western countries. Almost anything can be found, purchased, and delivered using Lazada.
To delve further into gift ideas, check out my article: 11 Self-Proven Gift Ideas To Get Your Filipina Girlfriend
Communication Strategies
Communication is key for any relationship, but especially for long-distance couples. When you can’t be together physically regularly, it’s important to make communication a priority to stay connected. There are a few strategies that can help facilitate frequent and meaningful communication across the distance.
1. Schedule Video Calls
Schedule regular video chat dates to talk face-to-face. Seeing each other visually and having conversations in real time can help you feel closer and more engaged. Make sure to set up consistent video chats that work for both of your availabilities. The couples that I have witnessed do this successfully and try to talk on video calls every single day, but weekly would be the bare minimum.
2. Send Photos and Videos Regularly
Share regular photo and video updates from your daily life via text, social media, or messaging apps. This gives you a window into each other’s worlds from far away. Send funny observations, photos of meals you cook, and views from your walk – the everyday moments that let your partner feel connected to your routine.
3. Explore Sending Handwritten Letters and Care Packages
Exchange handwritten letters or care packages by mail. One of the drawbacks of the Philippines is that there is not a guarantee that mail will get delivered. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. But there’s something sentimental about receiving a heartfelt letter or thoughtful gift in the mail from your partner. It tangibly shows effort and intimacy. Alternatively, you can email longer letters if regular mail is impractical.
Also see: Top Dating Apps For Expats Looking For Filipina Women
Visits In Person
One of the most important things you can do in a long-distance relationship with a Filipina girlfriend is to visit each other in person when possible. Seeing each other face-to-face helps maintain intimacy and the human connection in your relationship. The longer you go without visiting her in the Philippines, the harder it can be to maintain.
Try to plan visits whenever you can, whether you travel to the Philippines to see her or she comes to visit you. Even meeting halfway in a neighboring country can work and make travel easier for both of you. These visits allow you to spend quality time together, be intimate, and deepen your bond.
While visits may be infrequent, having an end goal to eventually live together can give you motivation. In the meantime, cherish the special times you get to reconnect in person. The memories made during visits will help sustain you through the periods of separation. Just stay focused on your future together.
Integrating Family & Culture
Family is very important in Filipino culture, so it’s vital to integrate her family into the relationship. Take the time to get to know her family members by video chatting or meeting them in person if possible. Ask your partner about her family – their stories, values, and traditions. Knowing more about her family background will help you understand her better.
Make an effort to learn about Filipino traditions, customs, and values. Your partner can explain Filipino culture to you, and you can also research it online. Learning more about traditions like respect for elders, celebrating milestones, and the importance of family will allow you to understand her way of life.
If able to visit the Philippines, immerse yourself in the food, language, and cultural sites. Meeting her family in person and experiencing the country firsthand will help you appreciate your partner’s background. Be open-minded and embrace her family and culture.
Transitioning to Living Together
When the time comes to close the distance and live together, having a concrete timeline and plan is important. Discuss expectations for moving in and logistics like whose country to live in and where to get a place together. While exciting, this transition can also involve culture shock and adjustment pains. Be patient with each other as you navigate changes in your daily routine and relationship dynamic. Some tips:
- Set a move-in goal date perhaps 6 months out to work towards together.
- Research options for visas and immigration if transitioning countries.
- Budget and plan where you’ll live together based on jobs, community, and affordability.
- Make temporary living arrangements at first like month-to-month rentals.
- Compromise on living habits as you learn each other’s preferences.
- Communicate frequently, set boundaries, but give grace during disagreements.
- Share how you’re feeling openly to avoid misunderstandings.
- Focus on all the good moments when the adjustment feels tough.
The initial period of living together after a long distance takes work and conscious effort. But if you set yourselves up for success and are committed to the relationship, you’ll get through the transition to build a beautiful life together.
Also see: 8 Reasons Why Filipinas Are So Desirable for Foreigners
Making It Last
For any long-distance relationship to stand the test of time, both partners need to stay fully committed to making it work. According to a study, the success rate for long-distance relationships is approximately 60% when couples are willing to prioritize the relationship. Staying committed requires continual effort to nurture emotional intimacy across the distance.
Both people must make their partner a priority by setting aside quality time for regular communication. They should openly express their feelings, thoughts, and goals for the relationship. This emotional intimacy serves as the foundation. According to relationship experts, couples in long-distance relationships tend to communicate more deeply than those who see each other daily. But nurturing intimacy requires effort in any context.
Having an end goal is also essential for couples in long-distance relationships to stay motivated. This means establishing a shared timeline and vision for eventually transitioning to living in the same location. Whether it’s planning for one person to relocate or discussing marriage and a common home base, having a target reunion date helps sustain both parties through the challenges of extended distance and separation.
Handling Challenges
Long-distance relationships come with unique challenges. There will be ups and downs that can strain the relationship if not addressed properly. Some common challenges are communication issues, jealousy, and self-doubt.
Communication is vitally important in a long-distance relationship, but the physical separation can make it harder. Technical issues, time zone differences, and not having in-person interactions can lead to miscommunications and arguments. Make an effort to have scheduled video chats, share your day over text, and stay engaged in each other’s lives.
Jealousy and comparisons can creep up due to not being together day-to-day. Remember to focus on your relationship, avoid social media stalking, and keep busy with your individual lives. If serious doubts come up, discuss them openly rather than making assumptions.
Self-doubt is common when you can’t be physically together. You may question if your partner shares your feelings. Combat doubt by verbalizing your feelings often, making thoughtful gestures, keeping plans, and cherishing visits when they happen.
The challenges can feel overwhelming at times, but overcoming them together only makes the relationship stronger. With trust, effort, and communication, you can conquer the hardships of distance.