Dating overseas can be an exciting adventure, but knowing the potential dangers is important. While I have successfully avoided major scams and safety risks (I’ve fallen victim to a few minor ones), I have friends who have encountered severe threats. This article will outline some of those significant risks along with some tips to help you avoid trouble while dating internationally.
As a foreigner in an unfamiliar country, scammers and criminals may see you as an easy target. I have dated women across various countries in Southeast Asia, South America, and Europe. Some of the most serious risks include:
- Drink spiking – Criminals may slip drugs into your drink to incapacitate you and then rob you. This is a more considerable risk overseas, where drink-spiking incidents often go unreported.
- Fake online profiles – Scammers create fake dating profiles to build online relationships and then ask for money. It’s harder to verify someone’s identity overseas.
- Theft and robbery – Pickpocketing and mugging are risks, especially if you dress flashy and carry valuables. Criminals often target tourists.
- Financial scams – From fake money to online banking scams, be wary of any scheme to separate you from your money. Scammers exploit foreigners’ lack of local savvy.
- Kidnapping – While rare, some organized criminal groups kidnap foreigners for ransom, targeting those who flaunt wealth.
With some street smarts and situational awareness, dating abroad can be safe. In fact, knock on wood, I have never had a problem. But it’s wise to learn about the potential pitfalls and some tips so you can avoid them. The key is being informed, using common sense, and taking reasonable precautions. Also, please note that I cannot guarantee your safety, but hopefully, the information mentioned in this article can reduce the risks.
Also see: The Complete Guide to International Dating For Western Men
1) Avoid Getting Drugged: Watch Your Drinks
When dating internationally, being vigilant about watching your drinks is essential. There is an increased risk of being drugged and robbed as a foreigner overseas, particularly in Central and Latin America, where drugs like roofies and scopolamine are sometimes used.
Some criminals target foreigners by slipping drugs into unattended drinks to incapacitate and rob them. Scopolamine, also called the “Zombie” drug, is particularly scary because victims are often awake through the entire process and even assist the criminals to steal from them, only to wake up missing their valuables with no memory of what happened. The effects of these drugs include confusion, memory loss, and even unconsciousness.
To avoid this, always keep a close eye on your drink. Never accept a drink that has been out of your sight, even for a moment. If you must step away, take your drink with you or discard it. It’s also wise not to accept drinks from strangers. Stick to drinks you have ordered and watched being prepared instead.
2) Avoid Kidnapping: Only Get In Your Car
One standard method of kidnapping when on a date is when a woman says, “We can use my driver.” To emphasize how getting into an unknown car can be dangerous, I have a brief story:
My friend was kidnapped in Medellin, Colombia, on a date with a Colombian woman. They agreed to meet at a restaurant for dinner, but, upon arrival, the woman said she knew of a better restaurant a few kilometers away. She then said that her driver was nearby and that the driver could take them there for free instead of paying for another Uber.
My friend, not thinking, complied and got in her driver’s car. The car drove a few blocks, stopped, and then three men (one with a gun) jumped in the car. They kidnapped my friend for five hours, using his face ID to unlock his phone and banking apps. They robbed him using his debit cards at ATMs, sending Zelle payments, and sending PayPal transfers.
Essentially, the valuable lesson from this story is that you should never get in a car that you haven’t personally ordered yourself. Uber is usually quite reliable and safe because you can see a driver’s history, rating, and number of trips completed. Still, never let your guard down. Sometimes, I even cancel my Uber if the driver is brand new or has a poor rating.
Want to read more about safety in Colombia? Also see: 9 Tips For Dating Safely In Medellin From My Experience
3) Avoid Catfishes: Verify Identities With Online Dating
When meeting someone online, verifying their identity before meeting in person is crucial. Beware of catfishing when someone pretends to be someone they’re not online. The person you are talking to and exchanging photos with may not be who they pretend to be. Do your due diligence by having video chats and looking up the person’s name and info online. Don’t send money or share too much personal information with someone you haven’t fully verified.
Here are some additional tips:
- Have a video call before the meeting. This allows you to see the person in real-time and get a better sense of whether they are who they say they are. Look for inconsistencies between their profile pictures and video appearance.
- Ask for their social media profiles. On Facebook and Instagram, you can see if their profiles are consistent with their dating profiles. Look for a long history of use. Beware of sparsely used accounts and newly created profiles. If women don’t share their social media profiles with me, I do not go on a date with them.
- Do a reverse image search on their profile pictures. This can help you determine if the photos were taken from somewhere else online.
- Ask them questions and look for inconsistent answers. Note: If they avoid giving specifics about where they work, live, grew up, etc., this is usually a red flag.
- Trust your instincts during video chats. Note any strange or evasive behavior. Don’t ignore red flags just because you think they’re beautiful.
Also see: 7 Biggest Red Flags When Dating Foreign Women Abroad
Some dating apps have an option for profile verification. Other dating platforms even require it. Consider only dating women with a verified profile. These steps to verify someone’s identity online can help avoid catfishing and ensure your safety when meeting someone for the first time. The extra effort is worth it to avoid dangerous situations down the line.
4) Avoid Putting A Target On Your Back: Dress Casual, Not Flashy
Avoid wearing flashy, expensive clothing or accessories when going on dates in foreign countries. This can make you a target for thieves and scammers. Here are some tips:
- Leave expensive jewelry, watches, and other accessories at home or in your hotel room’s security box. Items like gold chains, expensive watches, or diamond earrings will attract the wrong kind of attention.
- Wear nondescript, casual clothing on dates. Opt for plain T-shirts, jeans, and simple shoes rather than flashy designer brands. My favorite combo is a plain-back T-shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers. It’s classy but not flashy. You don’t want to broadcast wealth.
- Similarly, don’t constantly be taking out your wallet or cash. Be discreet when paying for items.
The idea is to blend in and not draw unnecessary attention. Follow the local customs and dress appropriately for the setting. In fact, when not on dates, I usually like to wear sports clothing—moisture-wicking “dri-fit” clothing—which looks like I am going to the gym.
5) Avoid Pickpockets and Bag Snatchers
Guarding your belongings while in public is an essential safety tip to avoid getting pickpocketed or having your bag snatched. Typically overseas, professional thieves wander the streets and public transportation systems, looking for easy, low-hanging fruit opportunities to steal valuables.
Walking around with your phone out is generally a bad idea in most foreign countries. Sometimes, I see tourists walking around with their phones out while looking at Google Maps or recording videos. Instead, study the map before you leave your hotel or apartment so you have a general idea of the exact location you are going to. Walk as if you know where you are going.
When riding in public transportation, use secure pockets. Keep your wallet in front pockets. Keep your backpack in front of you. Or wear an over-the-shoulder strap bag, where the bag rests on your chest.
Also, as a general rule of thumb, if you ever get robbed, especially with a weapon, it is best to hand over your valuables. Your life is more important than your cell phone, credit cards, and cash.
In Thailand, for example, petty crimes are more common than dangerous crimes, but here is a guide: How To Avoid The Most Common Dating Scams In Thailand
6) Avoid Big Losses: Carry Limited Cash and Credit Cards
A habit that I have found to work very well for me is only to bring the amount of cash I am willing to spend (or lose) when going out. This includes leaving your debit and credit cards at your residence, usually in the safe. This way, if you are pickpocketed or robbed, the loss is limited.
My good buddy Paul had his wallet stolen in Vietnam. Inside it, he had all his debit cards, credit cards, IDs, and a sizable amount of cash. He was pretty distraught. Getting new debit cards and IDs while overseas and traveling is hard.
By limiting the cash I carry, I reduce both the loss and the incentive for thieves if something unfortunate were to happen. My credit cards stay tucked away securely, only to be pulled out for a particular purchase or to draw from an ATM. That way, I don’t have to deal with canceling those or disputing fraudulent charges. Many countries commonly visited for dating overseas, like the Philippines, Thailand, and Colombia, are often cashed-based countries. Many small stores and shops will not even accept credit card payments.
The key is to bring only what you reasonably expect to use, plus a small buffer. There’s no need to carry your entire travel budget with you. You can always stop by your hotel room for more cash.
7) Secure Your Valuables: Use Your Hotel or Apartment Safe
One of the first things I do when I get to a new hotel or apartment is utilize the security box. I put my most valuable belongings in there in it: my passport, credit/debit cards, cash, and jewelry. This not only protects your valuables from potential theft but also gives you peace of mind. My laptop is the only item I usually can’t fit inside a safe because it is too big, but I can accept that.
Using the safe is especially important if you have staff entering your room, like housekeepers or girlfriends you don’t fully trust. Unfortunately, theft happens occasionally, although I have found most housekeepers trustworthy. However, I still err on the side of caution.
Using the safe takes an extra minute but provides excellent protection. Treat it as part of your routine when traveling and staying in hotels or short-term rentals. It’s a simple way to secure your most important possessions.
8) Get Accommodation With Security Staff
You might think you prefer a residence without a security guard or a front desk reception, which provides an extra step that can sometimes be a headache and cause you to lose a little privacy. However, the pros of having a security presence at your residence outweigh the cons.
First, security staff usually check IDs to verify all women and guests are 18 or older – the last thing you want is to bring an underage woman into your residence accidentally. Some women could have fake IDs or even lie about their age to you. In addition to your security guard, you also need to take ownership of verifying a woman’s age to ensure that you never break the law in foreign countries.
Second, security can often scare away women with ill intentions for you. Thieves tend to think twice about robbing you, and the likelihood of getting kidnapped is significantly reduced.
Having trusted front desk security provides immense protection and safety. Please get to know them, tip them occasionally, and establish a friendly rapport. This encourages them to look out for you and your belongings.
9) Avoid Sending Money Online
Never send money online without knowing the person and establishing a relationship of trust. I fell victim to this scam once, and now, as a rule of thumb, I never send money to anyone I have not met in person and built a relationship of trust with.
I matched with a beautiful Venezuelan woman in Medellin, Colombia. We had video chatted, talked for several weeks, and made plans to meet up in person. However, she told me that she lived two hours outside the city and needed some money for transportation. I sent her $50 via Western Union, only to have her block me immediately after securing the money. There is a long list of victims of similar scams. I’ve met many foreigners who have sent money to women online, intending to meet them in person, but it never comes to fruition. I was fortunate that mine was only for $50.
10) Avoid Counterfeit Currency In Taxis
Be cautious when receiving local currency, as taxi drivers and others may try to pass off fake bills. These are often made to look authentic but have some small details that are off. Closely inspect any bills, especially large denominations, before accepting them. If you receive a fake bill, it’s best to confront the person respectfully. If things become hostile, it’s best to walk away.
A taxi driver in Medellin, Colombia, once handed me a fake bill for 20K Colombian pesos. Although the amount only equated to $5, his deception was clever, slick, and smooth. I didn’t even realize the scam until he had driven away. Another friend of mine received a fake 500 Philippine peso bill from a taxi driver in Cebu City, Philippines.