The allure of international love is often fueled by mutual interests: a Western man’s attraction to the unique beauty of foreign women and a foreign woman’s interest in finding a foreign husband for an improvement in quality of life. It’s crucial for men to understand the cultural nuances and be respectful in their approach. While there are risks involved, such as gold-diggers, scammers, catfish, and untrustworthy individuals, these can be mitigated by filtering out potential partners before engaging in a serious, committed relationship.
Likewise, quality women will be on guard when looking for husbands. Realize that beautiful women in foreign countries have an inbox full of men trying to date them. Several women have told me that they went on a date with me, specifically because I was different. I didn’t ask for nude or promiscuous photos online, like countless other men do. You can separate yourself from the pack if you act as a gentleman and treat them with kindness and respect.
Let’s also point out that beautiful, wife-material women exist in every country, and each woman should be viewed person-to-person. That being said, I do have significant travel experience and many expat friends who have successfully found wives and happy long-term relationships.
Also see: The Complete Guide to International Dating For Western Men
Benefits of Finding A Wife Overseas
Many of the expats that I have met internationally have experienced some level of trauma regarding dating women in their home country. Whether it be one or several ugly divorces, or an inability to find quality matches online and find good dates in their homeland, they seek to find love abroad. These same men become shocked when they travel to third-world countries and find a plethora of single, beautiful women that are interested in dating them. It rejuvenates them to the point where they never want to go back.
Here are the top five benefits for looking for a foreign wife:
- Dating younger women, age-gap relationships
- Women embrace traditional gender roles
- Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, maintaining the house
- Grateful for you and encourage you to be the leader
- Women are kind, sweet, caring, and nurturing
- You will get residency in another country, allowing you a lower cost of living
Success Stories of Healthy Long-Term Relationships Overseas
Vietnam
After spending three months in Vietnam, I became close friends with two American war veterans, David and Richard, from the Vietnam/American war. A few decades after the war, they both returned to visit Vietnam and fell in love with the country. Not only that, but they both found beautiful, younger wives and found a peaceful life living as an expat in the city of Da Nang.
Vietnamese women aren’t quite as open to large age-gap relationships as the Philippines but both David and Richard found gorgeous wives that were about 15 years younger than them. I personally witnessed the wives taking great care of these men and including them into their Vietnamese families. Also keep in mind, marrying a Vietnamese woman gives you residency in the country.
Colombia
After spending five months in Colombia on one trip, and three months on another, I’ve met many expats living in Medellin, Colombia that are in happy long-term relationships with Colombian women.
My buddy Doyle is in his 80s and is in a happy marriage with a woman in her 30s. Although the age-gap relationship is very large, I’ve had dinner with them and it is a mutually beneficial relationship where both parties seem very pleased in the relationship. Another friend, John, has been in a happy relationship with a woman that is 20 years younger than him. She takes extreme care of him, almost to the point where it annoys him. At the beginning of the relationship he had to kindly tell her to stop trying to put his socks on for him. Haha.
The Philippines
In the Philippines, there are so many examples to choose from that it is hard to pick just one. I’ll pick my friend Walter, age 72, who first arrived in the Philippines in 2018 after an ugly divorce with an American woman. He sought to find one Filipina girlfriend but was quickly overwhelmed with the abundance of young beautiful women in their 20s that were interested in dating him. After several years of having fun with playing the field, he found a stunning, 35-year old woman that was family and marriage-oriented. They tied the knot in the Philippines and now he lives a happy, province life on the island of Leyte (Baybay City).
I recommend the Philippines as my top country for expats looking for long-term relationships and marriage. In my 12 months in the country, I found the women to be very kind, sweet, nurturing, and marriage-oriented. As they say in the Philippines, “family is everything”.
Of all the countries I’ve been to, the Philippines is the most culturally supportive of age-gap relationships. Men in their 60s and 70s have a lot of options for women, including women in their early 20s. For retirees that can support themselves with Social Security, pensions, or 401k’s, you can easily enjoy the low cost of living in the Philippines.
Also see: What Countries Have The Most Beautiful Women? My Top 10
Finding Long-Term Oriented Women Online
While long-term relationships can manifest on any dating application (I know some men who met their wife on Tinder), men should target dating platforms that cater more to long-term oriented partners if they are looking for love and marriage.
Dating platforms like Bumble and InternationalCupid tend to attract more marriage minded individuals than websites like Tinder and Badoo. Even websites like Match.com or eHarmony have an international presence, although the majority of users are located in the United States.
For an in-depth guide on the best international dating platforms, also see my article: 10 Best International Dating Apps Based Off My Testing
Are International Matchmaking Services Worth It?
International matchmaking services are companies that align candidates with dating prospects with similar interests. Although they don’t come cheap (usually a few thousand dollars), many men have found successful long-term relationships using these kind of services.
Personally, I enjoy the “hunt”, so to speak, of finding girlfriends myself. I enjoy the process of looking for a girlfriend online and in-person, going on dates, and taking time with the courtship process. For a fraction of the cost of a matchmaking service, you could have a membership on several dating applications and filter through millions of dating prospects online. Matchmaking services typically have far less women to choose from than dating sites, albeit the women are usually quality and serious about a long-term relationship.
International matchmaking services would be a good fit for men who 1) can afford the service, 2) Don’t enjoy the process of filtering through millions of potential partners via online dating, and 3) Have low dating skills and want to find a long-term partner quickly.
Top Countries To Find A Wife Overseas
If you want to see a deeper breakdown of the pros and cons of the top countries to find a wife, check out my article: The 5 Best Countries To Find a Quality Wife Overseas. Here is a short breakdown:
- The Philippines – women are very interested in finding a foreign boyfriend, open to large age-gap relationships
- Vietnam – very marriage-oriented women, reserved, ideal for long-term relationships
- Kenya – very interested in finding a foreign boyfriend, not overpopulated with tourists or expats to compete with, still a hidden gem
- Colombia – can be difficult to decipher between good and bad women, very family-oriented, most dangerous country on this list
- Mexico – lower cultural challenges, women are very family-oriented, good cooks
Meeting In-Person, Long-Distance Challenges
Planning First Dates
To make a long-term relationship work, you obviously have to meet in-person and give the relationship time to grow. This is why most men that seek foreign wives have financial stability or have a retirement plan that can support themselves. Fortunately, other options have emerged for younger guys like myself via working online or being a digital nomad.
If you have successfully found a dating prospect that you want to meet, setup a first date that is low-stress and comfortable. My favorite option is something during the day like a coffee or lunch date. This allows you to get out of the date quickly and cheaply if the vibe is incompatible. Although fancy and romantic, expensive dinner dates and flowers are best saved for those second or third dates after you have established authentic interest in dating her.
Choose the first meeting at a shopping mall, so that both of you will be safe and comfortable. If the date continues to go well, consider extending the date by going to another location for an activity. (A walk in a park, watch a movie, or bowling.)
If you are serious about establishing a long-term relationship don’t move too quickly to the bedroom. I’ve found this actually hurts your chances creating a strong, lasting connection. I’ve made this mistake before and it causes both parties to feel like the relationship has now become about sex.
My best relationship, with a Colombian woman, occurred because we took the time to get to know each other. We didn’t have any intimacy until the 5th date, and she wouldn’t even kiss me until the third date. Although it was initially frustrating, I subconsciously grew to respect her for that. And I knew that she wasn’t out doing quick hookups with other men.
Long-Distance Challenges
If you aren’t prepared to move to another country, you will have to do some maintenance of the relationship via long-distance. The best options are WhatsApp, Line, Facebook Messenger, or any other platform that supports video calls. Different geographical areas use different platforms but they are all easy to signup for and free. For example, in Thailand, Line is the preferred messaging application over WhatsApp, but WhatsApp is the most commonly used across the world.
Personally, I am not good at maintaining long-distance relationships (LDRs) but I wrote an article with some top strategies to maintain LDRs. Seek to close the distance gap as much as possible by meeting in person. That is why I recommend considering moving to another country…
Moving To Another Country
There are compelling reasons for Western men to consider relocating to a third-world country when marrying a foreign wife, rather than bringing her back to a Western nation.
The cost of living in many third-world countries is significantly lower, allowing for a comfortable lifestyle on a budget that would be modest in the West. This financial ease can create a relaxed environment for the relationship to flourish without the high-pressure demands of a Western cost of living.
Additionally, there’s a cultural argument: remaining in her home country helps preserve the beloved traits and values that made you attracted to her in the first place. Immersion in Western consumerism and a fast-paced lifestyle could risk altering her traditional, caring attributes that were an initial attraction, replacing them with materialistic desires that can disrupt the established harmony and simplicity in the relationship.
Bringing A Woman Back To Your Country
Most expats that I’ve met do not recommend bringing a foreign woman back to your home country. Here are some of the reoccurring challenges I’ve heard many times:
- A family-oriented woman will want to be close to her family. In your country, she will be homesick and culture-shocked.
- The beautiful, caring woman that you met is likely to change and adapt to an American woman’s personality and attitude.
- She may consider herself average-looking in her country, but in the United States, she will be gorgeous. Unfortunately, some other Western men will attempt to take her away from you by offering bigger and better opportunities than you can.
- In third-world countries, a $2000 a month income makes you a rich man, but in your home country it is very modest, and should could get eyes for other men.
- Other American women will persuade your nurturing wife into materialism, feminism, and expecting you to cater to her.
Please keep in mind that every woman is different, and this isn’t 100% always the case. But, these risks are high and I’ve heard so many horror stories from my friends. To see a full-list of reasons on why this might be a bad idea, check out: 9 Reasons Not To Bring A Foreign Wife To Your Country
One example is my buddy Don who married a sweet Filipina and brought her to the United States. In the Philippines, he admired her for her cheerfulness and happiness with seemingly very few material possessions. But in the US, she developed a strong desire for cars, clothes, and a bigger house. She quickly became materialistic and stopped caring for him (cooking, cleaning, etc.). He said, “she completely changed rather quickly.” In the Philippines he was rich, but in the United States his income was modest.
On a side note, it is rumored that Mexican women may be the best candidates to marry and bring to the United States, because it is an easy transition for them. There are many Mexican-Americans living in the US, along with lots of Mexican restaurants, and a relatively short trip back to Mexico to visit family.
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Thank you so much for reading!