As an international dating coach with a successful track record in 20+ countries, I find greater joy in approaching and meeting women in public rather than relying on online dating overseas. Direct interactions offer a spontaneity and authenticity that online platforms often lack, providing a more genuine connection from the very first encounter. There is something about facing your fears, making an approach, and risking rejection that makes the journey more important than the destination.
This article aims to equip you with the knowledge and strategies needed to approach and meet women overseas successfully. We’ll explore tried-and-true methods, including cold approaching, recognizing indicators of interest, and the importance of style. Additionally, I’ll share tips on the role of warming up and the concept of instant dates to enhance your chances of success.
By the end of this piece, you’ll have a comprehensive understanding of how to confidently approach foreign women, whether you’re seeking a short-term fling, a long-term relationship, or just making new friends with someone from a different culture.
Also see: The Ultimate Guide To Be A Pickup Artist (PUA) Overseas.
Cold-Approaching Overseas
Cold-approaching is a time-honored method in the pickup artist (PUA) world for meeting gorgeous women in public. It involves striking up conversations with women you find attractive in public settings, such as streets, cafes, shopping malls, or supermarkets. Although it’s not my favorite strategy (I prefer the indicators of interest method), it can be effective in terms of volume and exposure.
Using cold approach as an overseas technique for meeting women can vary significantly by country, culture, and language barriers. I wrote an article about my ten favorite countries for approaching and meeting women in public. In some countries, it can be seen as very taboo, while in others, many women feel delighted to converse publicly with a foreigner. However, in general, approaching women politely and with sincerity is always the best strategy overseas.
The advantage of the cold approach lies in the numbers game. For every 100 women you approach, most will reject you, but surely, a handful will be open to conversing and sharing their contact information with you. Most interactions will not lead anywhere, but persistence can result in acquiring phone numbers, social media contacts, and even the occasional instant date. It’s about embracing the unpredictability and being willing to engage even if the outcome isn’t always positive. Each interaction, successful or not, enhances your social skills and confidence and increases your odds of eventually connecting with someone compatible.
The downside to a cold approach overseas is that men often steer into creating awkward situations for women in public, especially if their pickup skills are at beginner levels. Then, in some cultures, especially in Asia, women can be shy and reserved and don’t appreciate the public spotlight you put them on from a public approach. They may feel as though everyone is watching (and they probably are).
Plus, by approaching every woman that you may find attractive, you might become a public nuisance rather quickly. And then, if you have a successful approach and get her contact information, it’s not good to approach other women in the same area because if she sees it, she could be offended and assume that you are a “player.” Foreigners are sometimes aloof in how much they stick out and are recognizable in foreign countries. That’s why I highly prefer using the “indicators of interest” method.
To dive further into this topic, check out: Does Cold-Approach Work Good When Approaching Overseas?
The Indicators of Interest Method (my favorite)
My preferred method for approaching women overseas is to look for indicators of interest, which streamlines the process by focusing on women already showing signs of attraction. This means you don’t always go out into public with a determination to approach women but rather incorporate it into your lifestyle naturally, which works in both daygame and nightgame.
Also see: Is Daygame or Nightgame Better To Meet Women Overseas?
As a foreigner in different countries, you will probably get lots of attention in public, but it can vary significantly based on the country. These could be subtle or direct. Asian countries tend to be more reserved and, thus, more subtle, while Latin American countries tend to be more flirty and direct. For example, as a caucasian man, I did not get as many indicators of interest in Poland as I would in Kenya or the Philippines.
Nevertheless, this method requires more nuanced awareness while hanging out in public. If you pay attention closely, you’ll notice you get many signals of interest from women. Here are some common indicators you should watch for:
- Maintaining eye contact or frequently glancing in your direction
- Smiling at you
- Playing with their hair or fidgeting
- Moving closer to you when there is ample space to be farther away
- Asking you follow-up questions about yourself
This approach is less intrusive than cold-approaching, as it ensures you’re engaging with women who are potentially more receptive. This consideration not only benefits you, but it also respects the time and space of women who may not be interested, avoiding unnecessary awkwardness or annoyance. There may be times that you misinterpret signals of attraction directed at you, but that’s okay. It’s all part of the game. You’ll still lower your rejection rates significantly.
To dive further on using this method, check out: Using The Indicators of Interest Method To Meet Foreign Women
“Warm Up” Your Social Skills Before Approaching
Even seasoned dating coaches recognize the importance of warming up before approaching attractive women. This involves engaging in light, non-romantic interactions to get comfortable and tuned into a social mindset.
Approaching beautiful foreign women in public may feel intimidating for you. For me, it was terrifying in the beginning. That is why starting a few conversations with people whom you are not intimidated by or are not attracted to will loosen up your social skills.
Warming up can be as simple as chatting with an elderly gentleman, helping an old lady cross the street, or speaking with a cashier. It can even involve offering a friendly “hello” to people you pass by on the street. These interactions are about breaking out of any social rust you might have, easing your way into the day’s more meaningful conversations and interactions.
Another way to warm up to approaching women overseas is through drive-bys, a concept I learned from legendary pickup artist Tom Torero. This involves walking up to attractive women and giving a compliment without the pressure of getting their contact information or taking them on an instant date. Your only mission is to approach. Saying things like, “You look beautiful today” or “You look beautiful in that dress,” and then walking away can alleviate a lot of the anxiety and pressure.
Also see: Do Pickup Artist (PUA) Strategies Work Good Overseas?
Style Is Important When Approaching Overseas
Your personal style can greatly impact the success of your approaches. First impressions are crucial whether dealing with foreign women or those from your own country. Maintaining a clean and tidy appearance can make a significant difference.
When overseas, aim for a stylish yet casual look—something more polished than gym attire. You can achieve this with well-fitted pants, stylish shoes, and simple shirts or button-downs. Grooming your facial hair and keeping your haircut fresh also adds to making a positive first impression. Dressing well shows respect for yourself and demonstrates care and attention to detail.
Depending on the country, it’s important not to dress too flashy or expensive. In many countries I’ve visited, like Colombia, Brazil, and the Dominican Republic, wearing costly items like jewelry and watches could make you the target of a robbery. Aim to look clean, well-groomed, and stylish, which can all be done without breaking the bank.
Also see: Why Pickup Lines & Openers Are Irrelevant Dating Overseas
Don’t Be Afraid to Go On Instant Dates
One of the most rewarding parts of a successful approach is the possibility of an instant date. Instant dates occur when the woman you’ve approached is free to spend some time with you immediately after you approach her, such as going for coffee, ice cream, or lunch.
In places like the Philippines, Thailand, and Colombia, I’ve had significant success with instant dates, particularly in shopping malls and busy streets, where there’s a vibrant social environment. Saying something like, “I was just about to grab a coffee over here. Would you like to join me?” is a respectful way to offer an instant date without putting too much pressure on her. If things continue to go well, keep the date progressing and change locations again.
Understand that not every woman will be available for an instant date, and you should always respect her decision if she declines. However, seize the opportunity to exchange contact information via platforms like Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, or simply a phone number to keep the door open for future interactions.
Happy travels and best of luck in your ventures overseas!