If you’re eager to improve your dating life while traveling overseas, learning to handle rejection is a crucial part of your journey. Just like in the world of pickup artistry (PUA), accepting and learning from rejection is essential. The truth is, even the most successful pickup artists fail well more than 50% of the time. Think of it like baseball: if you can get a hit one-third of the time, you’d be in the Hall of Fame.
In this article, we’ll cover several key concepts to help you handle rejection when approaching women. From understanding that rejection is rarely personal to learning how to lower your rejection rates, I’ll provide practical advice to improve your dating experience, whether in your home country or overseas.
The fear of rejection is perhaps the most significant obstacle keeping men from approaching women they find attractive. However, at times, even though I’ve faced some brutal rejections, including a terrible one in Krakow, Poland, I’ve had some turn out to be incredible experiences and even turned into long-term relationships. You never know; it’s all part of the game.
Also see: The Ultimate Guide To Be A Pickup Artist (PUA) Overseas.
Rejection Is Usually Not Personal
One of the most important factors in handling rejection when approaching women is to remember that it’s usually not personal. Many factors can influence whether a woman decides to give you a chance to talk to her, and most have nothing to do with you or, at least, do not reflect who you are as a person.
Here are some examples:
- She may not be in the mood.
- She may have a boyfriend or be married.
- She may be busy (on the way to work or school).
- You may not be “her type” based on your appearance.
- You may have approached her the wrong way.
- There is a cultural taboo for public approaching in that country.
Approaching women in public requires a thick skin. You are, after all, approaching a stranger who doesn’t know you. Even the best pickup artists get rejected more than half the time. Many of them actually say they miss the days when they had a lot of fear about approaching. Overcoming this fear is a sign of significant personal growth.
Many PUA coaches suggest pushing through barriers such as “I have a boyfriend.” However, when a woman says something of this nature to me, I simply wish her a happy future in her relationship and move on to the following approach.
Also see: 10 Great Countries Every Pick-Up Artist (PUAs) Should Visit.
You Didn’t Fail, You Learned
Often, it only takes one tiny mistake to ruin your chances with a woman. It could be as simple as choosing the wrong words or approaching her from an awkward angle. Some women might be startled when a stranger approaches them. This is all part of the learning process. Remember to learn from your mistakes by logging them and treating every approach as an experiment, not a life-or-death situation.
Remember, there is no failure except in not trying. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn and improve. Treat each approach as a learning experience to refine your skills and improve your chances in the future. When compounded, these learnings will enhance your chances with each approach, and the successes will make you a better, stronger, and more confident man.
Also see: How To Approach Beautiful Foreign Women In Public Overseas
It’s A Numbers Game: Move On To The “Next”
Dating and picking up women in public is very much a numbers game. In my experience, if you approach 100 attractive women, 90% or more will reject you, especially if you are at a beginner level. As your skills improve, you may get your percentage numbers up to 20, or even 30 percent, in terms of getting contact information.
It’s important to understand that not every woman will be interested in you, and that’s perfectly okay. The key to success in PUA is persistence and resilience. If one approach doesn’t work out, move on to the next with a positive attitude. Also, avoid responding to rejections with arrogant comments. Not only could these offend the woman, but they aren’t good for your personal growth in PUA. A man who can face rejection while staying cool, calm, and positive is well on his way to success.
The more you practice, the better you’ll become at reading social cues and adjusting your approach accordingly. With time, you’ll start to see patterns and develop a more intuitive sense of what works for you and what doesn’t.
Check out: How To Effectively Get Instant Dates When Approaching Overseas
How To Lower Your Rejection Rates
While rejection is inevitable, there are ways to lower your rejection rates when approaching women:
Be Mindful of Busy Women
Avoid or be careful approaching women who appear busy or preoccupied. For example, women wearing headphones, talking on the phone, having a conversation with friends, working on a laptop, or studying are less likely to be receptive to your approach. While it can sometimes work out, you will often be interrupting them, leading to a possible stern and harsh rejection.
Look for Indicators of Interest
Before approaching a woman, look for indicators of interest, which are signals that women give that suggest they may be interested or attracted to you. These may include making eye contact, smiling at you, glancing in your direction multiple times, or playing with their hair. These signals suggest she might be more open to a conversation.
Identifying signals of interest requires a keen awareness of one’s surroundings and women. To learn more about this subject, check out my deep dive into the indicators of interest method, which is my favorite way to approach women.
Want to hone your approach skills and lower rejection rates? Read my article: Using The Indicators of Interest Method To Meet Foreign Women.
Present Yourself Well
Making a good first impression is a vital step in making a successful approach. Your appearance matters. Present yourself well by dressing stylishly, maintaining good body hygiene, and being well-groomed. Women are more likely to be receptive if you present yourself confidently and attractively.
Dressing stylish yet casually, with a good haircut, is my favorite way of presenting myself in public. It’s incredible how much your rejection rates will decrease just by doing these simple things.
Also see: Is Daygame or Nightgame Better To Meet Women Overseas?
Warm Up Your Social Skills
Before diving into conversations with beautiful women, warm up your social skills by talking to people around you that you are not attracted to. Start by chatting with old ladies, men of your own age, or shop staff. Calibrating your social skills by engaging in casual conversations can be a useful tool to prepare for approaching women.
A second method of warming up is to do “drive-bys,” which entail walking up to attractive women and offering them a compliment. That’s it. Saying something like, “I really like your outfit today,” is an excellent example of a drive-by. Your only goal here is to make them feel good about themselves without the added pressure of getting their contact information. Of course, if a woman warms up to you, don’t bail; stay in the interaction for as long as you feel comfortable.
By implementing these strategies, you’ll improve your chances and lower your rejection rates. Remember, the goal is to establish meaningful connections, respect different cultures, and enjoy your dating experiences overseas. Good luck!