Dating women overseas has been one of the most incredibly rewarding experiences of my life. The chance to explore new cultures and make meaningful connections in various parts of the world has been a dream come true. In this comprehensive guide I will provide an in-depth look at how you can achieve your dreams too – the opportunities and considerations, based off my experiences, that come with seeking relationships internationally.
After having dating several drop-dead gorgeous women in Colombia, Thailand, and the Philippines, I can attest that the grass can be greener on the other side, if done correctly. Traveling abroad for Western men, like myself, can allow us to date high-quality women that are kind, caring, and beautiful. However, please keep in mind that there are drawbacks and careful considerations to be taken.
In this guide we’ll explore my best strategies I use to meet and date women internationally, the benefits of dating abroad, how to prepare for your journey, discover the best countries to visit, and learn how to navigate cultural differences. You’ll learn tips for communicating across language barriers, understanding dating etiquette, and building strong relationships founded on mutual respect. My goal is to equip you with the knowledge to approach international dating in an open-minded, compassionate, and responsible manner.
Overview of Dating Internationally
First, I’ll briefly tell you why dating overseas has been so much better for me than dating in Western cultures and why it could be for you too.
For a long time I struggled dating in the United States. My struggle was quite puzzling because I was following the “the American Dream” model for life that was handed down to me from my parents and grandparents. The idea was to go to school, get a job, get a wife, get a house, and start a family. Yet, with the emergence of social media and online dating apps, the Western dating culture has become incredibly chaotic.
After struggling for years with online dating apps like Tinder, Match.com, and OKCupid, and even approaching women in public; I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. I had a high-paying IT job, my own bachelor pad, but the Western women didn’t seem to take notice. I felt invisible. After getting fed up with the situation I designed my life to start traveling and spending significant time overseas. With that came relationships with beautiful women that I could not have imagined before. I’ve since spent significant time in Colombia, the Philippines, and Thailand, and months in Cambodia, Argentina, Poland, Hungary, Turkey, and Vietnam.
Dating internationally can be an exciting and rewarding experience. Thanks to global connectivity through technology and travel, more people are exploring relationships with those from different countries and cultures. Through my travels I have met many other expats like myself who have found enriching relationships overseas.
Also see: The 5 Best Countries For Looking For a Wife Overseas
The Benefits of Dating Women Overseas
- Age-gap relationships – Dating younger women that are more beautiful than you could in Western countries.
- Feminine roles – Many women in foreign countries embrace traditional gender roles of masculine and feminine, encouraging you to “be the man”.
- Kind and caring – I’ve found women in other countries to have warm and caring personalities. They like to take care of their men and boost their confidence.
- Foreign women are appreciative – Although subjective, my experience has been mostly positive. The women I’ve dated have been extremely grateful for the opportunities we have shared together in things like travel and trying new restaurants.
- Exploring new cultures – Women overseas love it when you show interest in their culture. They can even be your personal tour guide by showing you around their beautiful cities and countries.
- Learning a new language – Foreign women are often multi-lingual and you will have the opportunity to learn another language.
- Lower cost of living – If you decide to live overseas you get to enjoy lower costs of food, rent, and transportation, when compared to the United States, for example.
Dating internationally expands your worldview as you’re exposed to different ways of life. It allows you to understand and appreciate diversity. You may pick up new hobbies and interests or even learn a new language, often for much cheaper than you can in your home country. For example, I learned scuba diving in the Philippines for a fraction of the cost it would have been in the United States. Guitar and tennis lessons are also quite commonly available.
While exciting, international relationships are not without difficulties. Some of the biggest challenges are long-distances, language barriers, and cultural gaps. Define the relationship clearly, be honest, and keep communication open. Discuss your values and long-term goals to ensure alignment. Be willing to make adjustments and work through issues with empathy. Respect each other’s pace when it comes to intimacy and commitment.
Why Are Foreign Men A Catch Overseas?
You may be wondering why it is easier to attract a younger, beautiful woman in a foreign country rather than dating in your home country. A big reason, whether morally right or wrong, is the perceived financial status of Western men. Remember that most of the dating hotspots like Colombia, the Philippines, and Thailand are considered third-world countries. It’s not simply just about the money. However, in my experience, the women tend to be attracted to the possibility of a much improved lifestyle when they date a foreigner like yourself. Understand that with great power comes great responsibility.
One example that sticks out is when I dated a beautiful woman in Cebu City, Philippines. At the time I was 30 years old and she was 21 years old. She showed me pictures of her home and it was mind-blowing. Her “home” consisted of a tin roof, a dirt floor, and a barrel with a bucket for bathing. The bedroom walls were separated by a sheet of cloth and her whole family of parents and siblings (8 people) lived in the home.
Keep this situation in your mind and realize that labeling foreign women as gold-diggers is quite overblown but it is something to be cautious about. Many women just adore the idea of dating a foreign man because of the unique opportunity of having an improved lifestyle for herself and possibly her family.
Are you looking for a foreign wife? Check out: How To Find A Wife Overseas (For Western Men & Expats)
The Top 3 Countries To Consider
So far I have travelled to many different countries, including: Colombia, Argentina, Uruguay, Mexico, Poland, Hungary, Spain, Greece, Turkey, Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Japan. Trust me – there is a reason why Colombia, Thailand, and the Philippines get so much attention as being hotspots for dating. The reasons have substantial validity, and because of three factors: 1) Their interest in dating foreign men, 2) Physical beauty and inside kindness, and 3) Cost of living.
Also see: What Countries Have The Most Beautiful Women? My Top 10
Colombia – Across the board, Colombia has the most beautiful women of any country I have visited. And for the most part, they are very interested in dating foreigners. Be careful not to get entangled with Colombian women that are professional sex workers. Not only is it dangerous, but Colombia is taking strong measures to discourage this kind of of tourism.
Also see: The Complete Guide To Dating In Colombia As A Foreigner
Thailand – Thai women come a close second place to Colombia, in my opinion. Thanks to a fresh, healthy diet Thai women typically have very petite, slim figures. What sets Thai women apart is how kind, respectful, and sweet they can be. Also, realize I am not talking about Thai bar girls, that is a completely different game.
For an in-depth guide on dating in Thailand, also see: The Ultimate Guide To Dating In Thailand For Foreigners
The Philippines – The big advantage of Filipino women is that they can usually speak English fluently. That is one of the big reasons many companies have outsourced their call centers to the Philippines. As far as looks, there are many gorgeous Filipino women, but as a whole I would consider them slightly behind Colombia and Thailand. Another advantage of the Philippines is that, for some countries, visitors can stay long-term on a tourist visa or visa-on-arrival. All you need to do is keep visiting immigration offices to extend. After your first couple of extensions, you can get hassle-free six month extensions (always check specific requirements for your nationality).
See my in-depth guide: The Ultimate Guide to Dating Women in the Philippines
International Dating – Is It Better To Date Online or In-Person?
For dating internationally, I suggest combining both online dating and approaching women in public. These strategies allow you to cast a wide net and really hone in on the particular type of woman that you want to date.
Online Dating Overseas Strategy
About a month in advance consider subscribing to an online dating website or app. This timing is perfect because it allots you enough time to build some connections without the length of time being so long that the connection fizzles before you arrive.
Also see: 5 Steps To Create A Great International Dating Profile
My favorite website/app for international dating is internationalcupid.com because it has a large worldwide user-base, has robust filtering features, and the website is geared for women that are specifically looking for foreign boyfriends. And I LOVE the filtering features because it helps me narrow down exactly to the type of woman I am seeking. For example, I like to filter on age, no kids, body type (slim or petite), don’t drink, and English ability. Also, the women tend to be seeking more long-term relationships than women on apps like Tinder and Bumble.
Although InternationalCupid is a paid platform, keep in mind that you get what you pay for. By the way, it is free to signup and browse profiles. Other free options that I’ve had success with are Badoo and Zoosk, but they will strongly encourage you to pay by limiting key features from you.
Seeing the countless beautiful women on an online dating platform will help inspire you to plan your trip and may even help you narrow down to exactly where you want to travel to.
The key with online dating internationally is to cast a wide net. Think of it as “building prospects.” You never know what will happen with flaking or what she will be like until you set feet on the ground in her country. I like to get to the point where I have five or more quality prospects and then seek to maintain those until I arrive.
For an in-depth review on international dating platforms, also see: 10 Best International Dating Apps Based Off My Testing
My Top 5 Platforms For International Dating:
- InternationalCupid – My favorite international platform for online dating. I’ve been using this website for over five years and had a lot of success. It seems like wherever I am in the world, there is a large user base for that city on this website. As said previously, I love the filtering and search features because it allows me to narrow down exactly to the type of woman I am seeking. And many of the women are seeking authentic long-term relationships.
- Badoo has grown a lot in the past few years and has increasingly become one of the top international dating websites. The platform is free to use but know that you will be motivated to unlock key features.
- Seeking – If you have an abundance of money, Seeking.com has become a major platform in international dating. It’s transparently designed to be a sugar daddy/sugar baby website. Although long-term relationships can develop on this website, be aware that many women appear to be professional escorts. I used the website for two months and found that some women wanted significant amounts of money just to go on dates. One particular woman even asked me for 1500 Euros for a single date, which I kindly declined. Wow. On the flip side, you will find some of the most beautiful women in the world on the website.
- Bumble – Free to use but the Bumble Premium version allows you to set your location to anywhere in the world. Bumble is awesome because it requires women to make the first move after you have matched. This reduces flaking and the women tend to be looking for more long-term relationships when compared to Tinder.
- Tinder – Using Tinder’s paid feature called “Passport”, you can change your location to anywhere in the world. If you’re a Western man, you will get a lot more matches on Tinder while overseas than you would in your home country. However, you might wonder why Tinder is not ranked higher here. In my experience, there are a lot of transgenders on the platform, especially in Southeast Asia. Also, in Colombia, using Tinder can be quite dangerous and you will be competing with many native men from each country so it’s possible you can get lost in the shuffle.
Also see: How To Be An International Sugar Daddy: A Helpful Guide
In-Person approaching
Always try to get a hotel, condo, or AirBnB within walking distance of a large shopping center. For example, in Cebu City, Philippines I like to get a hotel next to Ayala Center Cebu, the premier shopping mall in the city. There are countless beautiful women walking around.
Make sure the residence you choose is “guest friendly” so you won’t have any problems bringing a girlfriend over. Also, book your hotels/AirBnb’s with two guests, not one. Not only is it generally safer in these areas near the mall, thanks to a security/police presence, but there are many women walking around that work nearby and also women that go to the mall to hangout and shop.
Check out my strategy for approaching women in public, using the “Indicators of Interest” method in this inforgraphic:
As I have grown in experience meeting women in public overseas, my favorite strategy is to employ the “indicators-of-interest” (IOI) method. Essentially, this means you don’t just go around approaching every beautiful woman. Instead, you get into a friendly mood by smiling and greeting people as you walk by. A simple smile, head nod, and a “hello” is all you need.
Women that are interested will likely reciprocate to you with a signal of interest. These come in the form of a smile, eye contact, or multiple glances in your direction. For me, I favor this strategy as it reduces rejections and keeps you from being a public nuisance.
Safety Tips For Dating Internationally
- Always meet a woman in public for the first date before bringing her to your hotel, apartment, or AirBnb. I prefer to meet for coffee or lunch and get a feel for their personality and intentions with me. I have received a very bad vibe from some women and I was so glad that our first meeting was in public and wasn’t at my residence.
- Never send money to someone you haven’t met in-person first. Sending money to someone you aren’t in a relationship with is a bad idea anyways.
- Never leave your drinks unattended. Unfortunately, dating overseas for Western men does have increased risk of drink spiking, drugging, and robbing.
- With online dating, always seek to do a video call with a woman prior to meeting. This will eliminate catfishing and women with bad vibes. There are instances when I was so glad that I did this. One woman in the Philippines had three children and gained 50 pounds since her photos were last taken. Women may have old pictures and look nothing like their online profile.
- Also with online dating, seek to obtain their social media accounts. This can provide a view into their lifestyle and personality. For example, I prefer women that have a long history of social media usage, smiling pictures, and pictures with their family. Women that have bad intentions with you usually do not have these things present on their social media accounts.
- Always hide your valuables before bringing a woman to your residence. When you continue to build mutual trust, you can gradually start letting your guard down.
- ***I actually run a test for new women that I am dating. I will purposefully leave some money unattended in my residence while I am using the bathroom, for example. Something small like $5 or $10 dollars. If the money is gone I realize that she is not someone that can be trusted.
Full more tips about dating safely internationally, also see: How To Stay Safe While Dating Women Internationally (8 Tips)
Preparing for Your Journey
Preparing properly for dating women overseas requires a lot of research and planning if you want to optimize your success. Every country, every culture, and every city has its own nuances. Taking the time to learn about your destination and its dating customs shows respect and will lead to more positive experiences.
Learning a few key greetings and phrases in the local language will really separate yourself from the pack of other tourists and visitors in each country. I’ve found that striving to learn about 25 words/phrases before you arrive is the sweet spot. This usually only takes about two or three hours of study for me. The added bonus is that communicating in their language will make flirting fun and easy. The women love it. Nearly 100% of the time the women giggle as I struggle to communicate in their language but it always seems appreciated. The language learning app I use is DuoLingo, which has a free version.
Monetary considerations are another big draw of traveling and living overseas. Don’t underestimate the value of earning in US dollars and living on pesos, a concept I first read about in Tim Ferriss’s The 4-Hour Work Week. Although improved dating opportunities may be the #1 factor for many expats that have relocated overseas, the cost of living is often substantially lower in SouthEast Asia and Latin America.
If you aren’t financially prepared to live overseas don’t sweat it. Everyone has their own starting point. At the beginning mine was not very optimistic either. Preparation begins with reducing your expenses, eliminating debt, and saving every penny you can. Then, start by taking some vacations which will broaden your cultural awareness and inspire you to travel more. My first few long-term trips were sabbaticals, where I had enough money to survive for one to three months. The limit of opportunities available to you is only defined by your creativeness.
Start immersing yourself in the culture before you arrive. There are a few fun ways to do this but favorite is by watching documentaries, movies, and reading books about the country you are going to visit. Here a few examples of documentaries and movies that I watched:
- Philippines – Defense of the Philippines, YouTube documentary about US, Philippines, Japan, General MacArthur in WW2
- Cambodia – First They Killed My Father, movie produced by Angelina Jolie about the Khmer Rouge
- Colombia – Narcos show on Netflix about Pablo Escobar’s rise and fall as a drug kingpin in Colombia
- Vietnam – We Were Soldiers, movie starring Mel Gibson about the Vietnam-American war
Courting rituals, gender roles, and family dynamics are different in each country. Study up on gift-giving etiquette, etiquette around paying for dates, acceptable topics of conversation, and other social norms. For example, kissing in public is widely frowned upon in Southeast Asia, but widely accepted in Latin America.
It’s also crucial to learn about any legal considerations. Be aware of laws around dating foreigners, marriage, age of consent, and other relevant regulations. The last thing you want is to get into trouble while dating overseas. Avoid breaking local laws at all costs, as legal issues abroad can quickly spiral. Research visa requirements in depth as well.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Dating someone from another country can seem exciting and romantic at first. However, it won’t be without big challenges and key lessons that you will learn the hard way. Still, the pros outweigh the cons in my experience. But it’s important to set realistic expectations before embarking on international dating.
Myths vs. Realities of Dating Abroad
A common myth is that relationships with foreign partners are easy and effortless. As a Western man visiting a foreign country, your value in the dating marketplace is usually quite higher than in your home country.
Also see: 7 Huge Mistakes Men Make Dating Foreign Women Overseas
I’ve dated some incredibly beautiful women in various countries that I could not have fathomed in my home country. However, the relationship can often fall apart after awhile due to a large language barrier or cultural differences. Pure beauty can be intoxicating at the beginning, but after a few weeks it can get stale if you haven’t made an effort to seek a genuine connection that is usually only obtained through conversations and quality time.
Another myth is that exotic foreign women make perfect subservient wives. This outdated stereotype is far from the truth and varies on a woman-to-woman basis. It’s true that many foreign women respect the traditional gender roles. For example, some women I’ve dated can be very attentive and are eager to wash my clothes and cook delicious meals for me. In reality, this isn’t always the case. Women from other cultures have diverse perspectives and values. View your partner as an equal individual, not an exotic accessory.
Don’t assume that relocating abroad for love will be easy either. Adapting to a new culture brings practical challenges. Be prepared for lots of paperwork, homesickness, language barriers, and starting from scratch in a new community. It’s important to make friends with local expats from your home country that can “show you the ropes” of how to integrate in the country.
Adjusting to Cultural Differences
No matter how compatible you may seem at first, cultural differences will arise eventually. Your partner may have different expectations around gender roles, family values, etiquette, communication norms and more.
Unfortunately, I had a bad experience with a woman in Medellin, Colombia. There was a cultural difference between us with the concepts of “honesty” and monogamy. I thought that we were in a monogamous, committed relationship but it turned out she was still going on dates with other men. When I confronted her about it, she said that she assumed I was still seeing other women and acted as if it was no big deal. The lesson learned is that it is best to be up front about your expectations and boundaries.
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Thanks so much reading!