Dating in Vietnam presents unique challenges for Western men seeking relationships with Vietnamese women. Having dated in over 23 countries—including the Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, Colombia, Poland, Hungary, and Argentina—I’ve found Vietnam to be one of the most culturally and logistically complex environments for dating.
The conservativeness of Vietnamese women, the language barrier, and strict visa policies can create real obstacles when trying to form a genuine connection. That said, these barriers often act as filters, meaning that the women you do build relationships with are typically serious, loyal, and caring.
In this article, I’ll break down the five biggest challenges foreigners face when dating in Vietnam—and how to overcome them. With the right mindset and preparation, dating in Vietnam can be a deeply rewarding experience.
Also see: The Ultimate Guide To Dating Beautiful Women In Vietnam
5) Cultural Differences In Dating
Vietnamese dating culture often reflects traditional gender roles, where men are expected to take initiative and contribute financially, while women may focus more on household responsibilities like cooking and caregiving.
Public displays of affection (PDAs) like kissing and hugging are generally frowned upon. However, I’ll never forget when I was walking around a beautiful park at night in Aluoi, Vietnam. In the dark, I witnessed many young Vietnamese couples sneaking in kisses and cuddles with each other. I guess the nighttime darkness gave them a layer of stealth that would have otherwise been frowned upon.
One big assumption that many foreigners get mistaken is to think that all the countries in Southeast Asia have very similar cultures. While on the surface, they may appear that way, they are actually quite different from each other. Of all the countries I’ve visited in Southeast Asia, Vietnam presented some of the most distinct cultural differences for me.
Another big cultural difference in Vietnam, when compared to Western countries, is the need for family approval in partners. Vietnamese women are incredibly loyal to their parents and often follow their advice and direction. For most Vietnamese relationships to have any substance, your Vietnamese partner will likely introduce you to her family.
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4) The Language Barrier is Hard In Vietnam
In my experience, the English level was not high in Vietnam. Outside of major cities like Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, you’ll struggle to find English speakers. I found that the English level is lower than that of nearby countries like Thailand, Cambodia, and the Philippines. I spent time traveling in rural Vietnam on motorbike trips to Hue, A Luoi, and Que Son, and the English proficiency was extremely limited. Even in the popular tourist city of Da Nang (My An district), oftentimes only one staff member in the restaurants could speak English, and each time, they would have to be called over when I had a question.
On the flip side, the Vietnamese language is complicated for English speakers to pick up. It’s a tonal language, so the same word can have multiple meanings based on slight changes in pitch. The written language uses the Latin alphabet but extensively uses accents and diacritics. This makes becoming conversationally fluent in Vietnamese quite difficult and time-consuming.
Therefore, it is advised to learn some basic Vietnamese phrases (I used DuoLingo) and get accustomed to using translation apps. On a side note, if you want to stay in Vietnam long-term, the best option may be to become an English teacher. There is a big need for them, and I met quite a few other ex-pats doing that while I was there.
The language barrier makes it hard to have deeper conversations or emotional connections in dating. Most interactions will be limited to basic phrases and vocabulary. Using translation apps can help, but they are still a challenge for nuanced communication.
3) Vietnamese Women Are Very Conservative
Vietnam is still a fairly conservative country. Premarital sex is taboo, and living together before marriage is rare. Vietnamese women tend to be more reserved and take relationships seriously. I found that they genuinely want to become “just friends first” and take a long time to get to know each other. Moving fast physically will likely turn off a good Vietnamese woman.
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Vietnamese women often date with long-term relationships in mind, which may clash with foreigners who are accustomed to more casual dating. Due to my awareness of this, I didn’t pursue any long-term relationships with Vietnamese women because my 90-day visa is not enough time to overcome this challenge. However, I did meet several beautiful Vietnamese women in Da Nang. We exchanged Instagrams and are remaining in touch and going through the friends phase.
Overcoming this challenge takes effort, but it’s possible and worth it. I made friends with several Vietnam veterans from the United States who were married and living in Vietnam with their Vietnamese wives. They were adamant that Vietnamese women make the best wives if one can stay patient, build trust, and stay committed through the long courting phase.
2) Do Vietnamese Women Prefer Dating Vietnamese Men?
Another big challenge is that many Vietnamese women strongly prefer to date men from their culture. As you can see in this video (YouTube), Vietnamese women were asked on the street whether they would prefer dating a foreigner or a Vietnamese man—most preferred Vietnamese men because of the substantial cultural differences and language barrier.
Another puzzle piece is that Vietnamese parents often prefer their daughters to date within their culture. And Vietnamese women, for the most part, strive to get their parent’s approval and permission when picking partners.
The other thing is the language barrier mentioned earlier – most women in Vietnam do not speak English well, and most foreigners cannot speak Vietnamese – leading to solid communication difficulties. By the way, Vietnamese is an extremely hard language to pick up. According to Effective Language Learning, Vietnamese ranks as a category IV language, making it one of the most difficult for native English speakers to learn.
Although many Vietnamese women prefer to date Vietnamese men, perhaps your best chance is to try a dating website like VietnamCupid, specifically designed to match Vietnamese women with foreigners. To see my full review and recommendations for online dating apps in Vietnam, check out The 7 Best Dating Apps in Vietnam For Foreigners | Ranked.
1) Getting a Long-Term Visa Is Hard In Vietnam
For U.S. and Canadian citizens, a visa is required to enter Vietnam. This is a strike difference if you are used to visiting the Philippines, Thailand, and other places by getting a tourist visa on arrival. For Vietnam, you need to give yourself at least two weeks in advance to apply. My friend and I applied about ten days in advance, and both applications were initially denied for tedious reasons, which left us with severe anxiety about them getting approved in time. Fortunately, I received my 90-day multiple entry visa for Vietnam the day before my arrival.
As we mentioned earlier, most Vietnamese women are very conservative and prefer to take a long time before engaging in a relationship and getting intimate. Therefore, it’s unlikely that you will be able to build enough trust with her for a relationship on a 30-day or 90-day tourist visas. They’ll want to know that you will commit to Vietnam for the long haul.
The most common long-term visa is a one-year, multiple-entry visa. To qualify, you’ll need to meet strict requirements. The process takes 1-2 months and requires sending your passport and documents to the Vietnamese consulate for review. Approval is not guaranteed. Alternatively, you can enter on a shorter tourist visa and try extending it within Vietnam. But extensions are limited to 6 months total.
Getting a work permit or student visa can also provide longer-term stays. Due to the high demand for English teachers, jobs are relatively easy to find. In fact, many of the younger expats I met living in Vietnam were teaching English at local schools.
Another path, though certainly more serious, is to pursue marriage. Many older expats who’ve built meaningful relationships this way say it’s brought both love and long-term stability.
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