In this article we’re going to talk about why it might not be the best idea to bring a foreign wife to your home country. For example, you marry a woman from the Philippines and want to bring her back to the United States.
I’ve been traveling all over the world, honing my skills by dating women from different cultures and backgrounds. I’ve met so many fellow expats and made lots of friends who currently live overseas. And guess what? Most of them are quite unanimous that it’s not such a good idea to bring a foreign wife back home. Now, I haven’t been married myself, but I’ve heard many horror stories from my friends.
It’s important to acknowledge that every woman is different and each case should be treated individually. But, learning from my expat friends, there seem to be some common drawbacks towards bringing a foreign wife back to your home country.
Ultimately, the better option to consider is moving to her country instead. That way, you both can be happy without all those unexpected changes. By the way, I realize that finances are the biggest hurdle for men that are looking to travel and live overseas. That’s why I created a free guide that you can download, called the TRAVEL THE WORLD: 7 Financial Paths To Supporting Yourself Monetarily.
Let’s dive into the top reasons not to bring a wife back to your home country.
#9 – Employment Challenges
If the immigration hurdles aren’t hard enough, getting your foreign wife a job is another significant hurdle. Hopefully, you pick a wife that speaks a reasonable amount of English, otherwise, finding good employment will be challenging. You might think that leaving a new foreign wife at home all day is a good idea, and it could be, but Western culture tends to suggest that people should work. And you run the risk of her getting incredibly bored all day without a job.
#8 – She Has The Wrong Motives
We’ve all heard the stories about women just marrying men so they could get a “green card” into the United States. However, the stories have validity and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Take them as a precautionary warning. It is very important to properly screen prospective women to learn about their true intentions with you and see if they are “wife-material”. It is easy to fall into the most common mistakes foreigners make when dating overseas. It is not a good idea to jump into a serious relationship or get married if you haven’t spent a significant amount of time with a woman, especially in-person, to get to know them well.
#7 – Language Barrier
Language barriers are another big challenge of bringing a foreign wife to an English-speaking country. Perhaps, that’s why the Philippines is so popular for finding wives. I’ve spent over a year of my life traveling and dating in the Philippines, and there are many wonderful women. But, the best part, when compared to other Southeast Asian countries like Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia, is that the majority of women are fluent in English.
Language barriers shouldn’t be the only factor to consider. It is a hurdle but it can be overcome if the woman is committed to learning the language. Usually, an investment of a few thousand hours is enough to become fluent in English. For example, this article suggests that for a Thai woman to become conversational in English she would only need 200-300 hours of study.
#6 – Bad Peer Influences
Most men might think it is a great idea to get their new foreign wife some friends from her nationality. For example, you bring your Colombian wife to Canada, and you help her find some other Colombian women to be friends with that are living in Canada as well. Generally, that seems like it would be a good idea. But I have heard horror stories from expats, including my buddy Don, where the idea backfired badly.
My buddy Dan married a Filipina in the Philippines that he described as “sweet, kind, and caring.” He brought her back to his home in California and found her some local Filipinas living in California to make friends with. Except, he said, “the other Filipinas corrupted her and taught her how to manipulate me. Soon after, this sweet, loving woman changed to a woman who was asking for cars and houses. And she threatened to leave if I didn’t buy her those things.” Needless to say, the marriage didn’t last long.
Looking internationally for a wife? Check out: How To Find A Wife Overseas (For Western Men & Expats)
#5 – Difficult Cultural Adjustments
Beyond the language barrier, there are other cultural adjustments that can encompass a wide range of aspects when a person from a foreign country moves to a Western country. Here are some examples:
- Food and Eating Habits: Adjusting to different cuisines, meal times, and the availability of familiar ingredients. For instance, someone used to eating rice three times a day might find this habit hard to maintain in a country where bread is the base food. Your pretty, petite wife could have difficulty maintaining her slim figure while adjusting.
- Social Norms and Taboos: Learning and adapting to local customs about greetings, personal space, and social interactions which can vary significantly across cultures.
- Fashion and Dressing: Understanding what clothes are appropriate for various occasions and weather conditions, as well as local tastes and standards of modesty. Many foreign countries I have visited are much more reserved with what they choose to wear compared to Western cultures.
- Values and Attitudes: Understanding the local culture’s stance on issues like punctuality, privacy, gender roles, and attitudes toward the elderly and authority figures. For example, punctuality is the biggest culture shock I’ve experienced in both South America and Asia. It’s not considered rude for a woman to show up an hour late to a planned meeting. As an American, I am very punctual and hate being late!
- Religious Practices: Encountering diverse religious beliefs, practices, and attitudes, which can influence daily life, holidays, and community activities.
Beyond these, other adjustments around transportation, healthcare, and education all play a role in becoming comfortable in a new country. I’ve learned through traveling that most people in the Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, and Colombia, for example, do not have cars. But, in the United States, a car is nearly a necessity to do just basic activities such as grocery shopping.
#4 – Homesick, Missing Family
One of the biggest misconceptions that I hear about foreign women is that “they just want you for a green card.” In fact, most women that I have dated would prefer to stay in their home country. Often times, the main reason is that they do not want to live oceans away from their parents, siblings, grandparents, and everyone they know. The homesickness would be overwhelming. Although the allure of traveling temporarily with a foreigner is enticing, in my experience most women do not want to make a permanent move.
#3 – She May Become Materialistic
One of the top reasons not to bring a foreign woman to your home country is the fear of her changing into a materialistic woman. It may be due to a variety of factors such as Western advertising or peer influences that make her feel like she needs more possessions in order to find happiness.
Nevertheless, this is one of the most common warnings among my expat buddies who have experience bringing a wife back to the United States. They told me how they met wonderful, non-materialistic women living in Asia. They had met these “innocent” women who were seemingly happy with having so little material possessions. Upon bringing them to the United States, the women quickly adapted to American culture and developed a thirst for stylistic clothing, cars, houses, and jewelry.
Check out my article: The 5 Best Countries To Find a Quality Wife Overseas.
#2 – You Risk Her Cheating On You
As a Western man, you may be enthralled with the low cost of living overseas while simultaneously dating beautiful foreign women. Here’s the problem: It’s a numbers game. While you may be “a catch” overseas that is surrounded by so many exotic beauties that it is hard to pick from. But, when you bring an exotic beauty back to your home country, you become just a “regular Joe” and she becomes the exotic catch. It’s a supply and demand issue.
A personal example is when I was dating a beautiful Colombian woman. She was stunning and I felt lucky to date her. But, in Colombia there are beautiful women everywhere and not many foreigners. It’s supply and demand. If it didn’t work out I could surely find another Colombian girlfriend, probably quickly. However, if I brought her to the United States, the supply and demand issue would be flipped to the opposite. I would be a dime-a-dozen man and she would be highly coveted. If you filter your prospective wife properly, maybe you can avoid these types of issues, but it’s a risk you ought to be aware of. Other men could try to take her from you.
#1 – She’ll Lose Her Feminine Qualities
The biggest and most important risk of bringing a foreign wife home is that she’ll lose her feminine nature and become Westernized. If you were seeking a foreign wife for those qualities then you run the risk of losing that. The Western men that are drawn to dating internationally typically do so because the gender roles of masculine and feminine are still intact. This means that women overseas usually have no problem with maintaining the house by doing chores such as cooking and cleaning, and trying to support her husband.
In Western countries, such as the US and Canada, the feminine roles of the woman seem to be going extinct and even frowned upon by society. Ideas of feminism and individualism have taken root. I’m not suggesting that they are bad ideas nor are they bad women. I am saying that it is okay for men to have preferences and seek relationships that meet their needs. If relationships can develop with honesty and transparency of expectations, then ideally both partners can mutually support each other to have a happy relationship.