Dating women abroad can be an alluring experience for many reasons. The lower cost of living in certain countries allows your money to go further, enabling you to wine and dine potential partners more lavishly. Additionally, the opportunity to immerse yourself in new cultures, learn languages, and experience different ways of life can be incredibly enriching. Of course, one of the biggest draws is the beauty and exotic appeal of foreign women themselves.
However, navigating the world of international dating is not without its pitfalls and potential red flags. Having made my fair share of mistakes over the years, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about what to watch out for. This article aims to share the biggest red flags I’ve encountered, helping you to avoid some of the same missteps and frustrations along your own journey.
Red Flag #1: She Doesn’t Ask Important Questions
When dating overseas, to my surprise, I learned that many foreign women have had previous experiences with foreign men that were less than ideal. As a result, some tend to have their guard up and will ask certain important questions to gauge your intentions and situation. If a woman doesn’t ask these questions, it can be a major red flag.
Question #1: How Long Are You Here For?
This is one of the most common questions asked by local women when dating foreign men. Good-quality women seeking long-term relationships often do not want to get involved with someone who is only in town for a brief vacation. If she doesn’t ask this question, it could signal a lack of interest or genuine care for you as an individual.
Question #2: What Are You Looking For?
Another very common question is about your intentions – whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or just casual dating. It’s essential to be honest about this, as lying can deeply upset a foreign woman if she later realizes your intentions were not genuine. A middle ground, genuine response that I often use is, “I’m open to dating, and if I meet the right woman, I’d be open to a long-term relationship.”
Lying about your intentions with foreign women is a huge mistake a lot of men make when dating overseas. To learn about some other important ones: 7 Huge Mistakes Men Make Dating Foreign Women Overseas
Question #3: Have You Been to This Country Before?
This question aims to gauge your familiarity with her culture and whether you have dated other women in her country before. It’s often followed up with, “Have you had a girlfriend here before?” The underlying concern is to determine if you understand her cultural context and if you have a history of pursuing multiple women simultaneously.
Question #4: Are You Married or Do You Have a Girlfriend?
Surprisingly, foreign women frequently ask if you have a wife or girlfriend back home. This question arises from the unfortunate reality that many men engage in infidelity while traveling abroad. Women want to know if they are simply temporary entertainment or if you are genuinely available.
If a woman doesn’t ask any of these important questions, it could be a red flag indicating a lack of interest in a serious relationship or a disregard for potential issues that may arise from cultural differences or mismatched expectations.
Red Flag #2: Her Social Media Profile
Not having a long history of use and history on her social media profiles is a red flag, and possibly the most cautionary one for me. Recently created profiles could indicate a secondary account. Lots of sexy or promiscuous pictures, like lying in bed poses, may signal she’s seeking transactional relationships. A lack of pictures with family and friends, and only portraying a glamorous lifestyle, is another warning sign.
Women purposely hiding their face or using angles that don’t show their full identity could be trying to avoid detection from law enforcement. Numerous photos in expensive locations, despite no visible employment, may mean she’s an escort or seeking a sugar daddy. Finally, online dating profiles that request you to follow her Instagram or subscribe to paid content is usually just a lead generation method for her business, not genuine dating intentions with you.
By the way, becoming a sugar daddy can be a healthy option when done correctly. Check out my blog article: How To Be An International Sugar Daddy: A Helpful Guide
Red Flag #3: Lack of Humor
I’ve learned that often times, even if she speaks English, it might be a woman’s second or third language. Therefore, her understanding of context, play on words, and puns, might fall short of being humorous to her, and sometimes even be insulting.
On one instance in the Philippines, a woman whom I liked, asked me if I had gone on any other dates with different Filipinas. I told her I did, but that “none of them were as pretty or as cool” as she was. I thought this would be funny, but she got angry, and never went on another date with me again despite my efforts to apologize.
Cultural differences in humor can lead to serious misunderstandings. What may seem like an innocent joke to you could come across as offensive or hurtful to someone from another cultural context. Humor often relies heavily on linguistic nuances, references, and underlying cultural assumptions. A woman’s lack of finding your jokes funny is not necessarily a personal failing on her part, but rather a clash of cultural perspectives on what constitutes acceptable humor.
Red Flag #4: Jealousy
Unfortunately, many foreign women have a quick path to jealousy. Remember, that as a man from a Western country, you are likely a “big catch” in her country and lots of women may desire you. This can tend to trigger jealousy and suspicion from a woman even when it is not warranted.
While it hasn’t happened to me personally, I’ve heard many stories from friends of their girlfriends secretly learning the passcodes to their phones, and going through them to see who they are messaging and what photos they have in their history. Therefore, I take careful notice of where my phone is at all times and have my messages turned on silent.
But in general, if I get a vibe that a particular woman has a jealous and vengeful side to her, I typically avoid dating these types of women. Even so, some women love teasing around, while others are insulted easily. Be yourself while simultaneously aware of her personality, and try to find women who are the “girl next door” type.
Red Flag #5: Lack of Gratitude
One thing that really bugged me was my Colombian girlfriend I had in Medellin for 6 months. She was incredibly beautiful, more so than anyone I’ve dated before, but often I felt like she didn’t seem to appreciate me much.
I splurged on a vacation to San Andres Island in Colombia, shelling out a good chunk of change for flights, a nice hotel, and upscale dinners. But when we got back to Medellin, it hit me that she hadn’t even thanked me for the trip. It wasn’t like I was fishing for a big show of gratitude or anything. I just value manners, politeness, and a bit of respect. I’ve found that this instance is not very common, as many foreign women are incredibly grateful for even the small things you do for her.
Red Flag #6: She Likes To Party A Lot
Many foreign women come from countries where late night partying, drug use, and over-consumption of alcohol are rampant issues. While having a drink together can be an enjoyable cultural experience, be wary of women who seem to have a dependence on substances. Red flags include:
- Social media pictures and stories of her regularly at the club
- She wants to meet you late at night
- A preoccupation with obtaining illegal drugs
- Drastic mood swings that could be related to being under the influence
- Engaging in risky behaviors, including unprotected intercourse while intoxicated
- Inability to have fun or relax without partying
- Financial issues due to spending money on drugs or alcohol
Also see: How To Stay Safe While Dating Women Internationally (8 Tips)
Not only can partying in a foreign country lead to unstable relationships, dangerous situations, and health issues, you are putting yourself in where you could get into trouble. In many countries, drugs are illegal and the last thing you’d want is to be locked up abroad. In addition, I abide by the rule of thumb that nothing good happens after midnight, especially overseas, and I prefer to meet potential girlfriends during the day for a lunch or cafe. Your own well-being should be the top priority.
Red Flag #7: Overly Materialistic
While it’s normal for women to enjoy nice things, an excessive focus on money and material possessions can be a red flag when dating abroad. Some foreign women may view dating a Western man as a means to an affluent lifestyle, rather than a genuine connection. I’ve been on dates where a foreign woman orders the most expensive item on the men. As a result, I usually do initial dates at reasonably price restaurants. If it’s not fancy enough for her, then we probably won’t be a good match anyways.
Be wary of women who constantly discuss expensive brands, demand lavish gifts, or seem more interested in your financial status than getting to know you as a person. A healthy relationship should be built on mutual understanding, respect, and shared values – not just the ability to provide material wealth.
Also see: How To Spot Gold-Diggers When Dating Overseas
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Thanks for reading!