In the age of globalization, dating overseas has become increasingly popular. For me personally, dating overseas has be an enriching and rewarding experience. Having dating numerous women from a different cultural backgrounds, including Southeast Asia and Latin America, I actually prefer connecting with women from a different cultural background rather than my home country of the United States.
However, as romantic as it sounds, the journey of international dating is fraught with challenges. Among them is the unfortunate reality that some women overseas view dating as a financial opportunity rather than a chance to make genuine connections. On the flip side, there are boatloads of women who genuinely seek a true connection with a foreign boyfriend such as yourself. And even further, many seek to find and marry a Western man. But first, we need to explain how to spot a gold-digger and filter out the women who are solely out for your money.
From a man’s point of view, a “gold-digger” is a term for describing a person, usually a woman, who forms relationships with men primarily to extract money or gain financial benefits from them, rather than engaging in the relationship for emotional or romantic reasons. Often times, they may want more than just money too, including cars, houses, clothing, jewelry, phones, and shopping sprees.
It’s also important to point out that there are many successful sugar daddy / sugar baby (SD/SB) relationships, where proper boundaries are established up front, and both partners have their needs met. By the way, the best place to find SD/SB relationships is on Seeking.com. However, this article will identify some key strategies to help you spot the potential gold-diggers when dating overseas, ensuring that your heart and wallet remain intact, and avoid them if you choose to.
Tip #1: Give the Relationship Time
Patience is not just a virtue; it’s a necessity when dating internationally. Many gold-diggers are skilled at disguising their intentions, presenting themselves as genuinely interested partners. However, over time, their true motives tend to reveal themselves and you can see their true colors.
In both Thailand and the Philippines, I have heard horror stories of men being swept off their feet by gorgeous and younger women. With the illusion of being in love, men have lost their entire life’s savings at the hands of women with ulterior motives. Men have purchased homes and cars for women, only for the relationship to end and be left empty handed. Remember, depending on the country, foreigners are not allowed to purchase real estate or homes unless they put it in someone else’s name, although some countries do allow foreigners to purchase condos/apartments in their own name.
Rushing a relationship can lead you to overlook red flags that would usually signal a warning. Giving the relationship time allows you to observe and understand your partner’s true intentions, separating those genuinely interested in you from those with ulterior motives. Remember, love that’s meant to be won’t be deterred by a slower pace.
Also, become aware of other issues beyond just gold-diggers: 7 Huge Mistakes Men Make Dating Foreign Women Overseas
Tip #2: Red Flags in Her Dating Profile and Social Media
In today’s digital age, social media and dating profiles can offer a wealth of information about a person’s interests, lifestyle, and, yes, even their intentions. Watch out for explicit mentions of seeking financial support, mutual benefits, a sugar daddy, or direct references to money on her profile. These are clear indicators that the person might be prioritizing financial gain over a genuine relationship.
Also see: 5 Steps To Create A Great International Dating Profile
Another aspect to consider is the nature of her photos. Promiscuous images, such as those in bikinis or suggestive poses, might be an attempt to attract attention based on physical allure alone. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with a woman showing off what’s she got through photos, a pattern of overly provocative images could signify a focus on attracting wealthy partners.
Additionally, possessing more than one social media account, such as two Instagrams, could indicate an attempt to separate a “public” persona from a more private one, where the latter could be used to target potential financial benefactors without attracting general scrutiny. In my experience, this could also indicate that she has multiple boyfriends.
Tip #3: Don’t Create A Gold Digger
Ironically, some men can inadvertently contribute to the very situation they wish to avoid. By setting an early precedent of giving money, lavish gifts, shopping sprees, and expensive vacations, a man can turn an otherwise genuine woman into someone who comes to expect these luxuries as a normal part of life.
One instance that sticks out in my mind is my buddy Philipp who came to visit me in Cebu City, Philippines. Despite my suggestions, I witnessed him “spoil” a Filipina woman with lavish shopping sprees and exotic vacations. Although, she is a good woman, she came from a very poor background and had never experienced that kind of luxury. She came to expect this type of treatment from him on a regular basis and her family also started wanting a piece of the pie. Rather quickly, Philipp was in over his head, buying dinners for eight people and taking the woman and her family on excursions.
Also see: The 5 Best Countries To Find a Quality Wife Overseas
In my experience, it’s better to start slow and occasionally undergo some luxury, rather than going big from the beginning. If these expenditures become normalized and then later withdrawn, the woman might perceive the man as less valuable, since her expectations have been set unrealistically high from the outset. It’s crucial to foster a relationship built on emotional and intellectual connections rather than a foundation of financial transactions.
Tip #4: Don’t Get Frustrated
Fortunately, not all women overseas are gold-diggers. Therefore, let’s debunk some of the most common misconceptions that we hear when dating abroad:
- “She only wants you for your money”
- “She only wants you for a green card”
These phrases have become almost clichéd in discussions about international dating, underscoring the common concerns many people have about the potential for opportunistic relationships. However, I can assure you that it is quite overblown and that there are plenty of quality women overseas. It’s important to remember that while caution is necessary, cynicism is not.
Not every woman looking to date men from a different country is out to exploit them financially or for immigration purposes. In fact, I have found that the most quality women prefer to live in their native country. They often want to remain geographically close to their family and enjoy the familiar aspects of their own culture.
Therefore, fostering a relationship with mutual respect, giving it adequate time to develop, and paying attention to early warning signs can help you navigate the often complex world of dating overseas and avoid gold-diggers. Being mindful of your actions and the precedents you establish can also ensure that you attract a partner interested in you for who you are, rather than what you can provide. Then, any financial benefits she gets from the relationship are just a bonus.