In this article, let’s discuss why bringing a foreign wife to your home country might not be the best idea for Western men. For example, you marry a woman from the Philippines and want to bring her back to the United States.
I’ve traveled worldwide, honing my skills by dating women from different cultures and backgrounds. I’ve met so many fellow expats and made lots of friends who currently live overseas. And guess what? Most of them unanimously think that bringing a foreign wife back home is not a good idea. I haven’t been married, but I’ve heard many horror stories from my ex-pat friends.
It’s important to acknowledge that every woman is different, and each case should be treated individually. But, learning from my ex-pat friends, there seem to be some common drawbacks to bringing a foreign wife back to your home country.
Ultimately, the better option to consider is moving to her country instead. That way, you both can be happy without all those unexpected changes. By the way, I realize that finances are the biggest hurdle for men who are looking to travel and live overseas. That’s why I created a free guide that you can download called TRAVEL THE WORLD: 7 Financial Paths To Supporting Yourself Monetarily.
Let’s dive into why not to bring a wife back to your home country.
#9 – Employment Challenges
If the immigration hurdles aren’t hard enough, getting your foreign wife a job is another significant hurdle. Hopefully, you will pick a wife who speaks a reasonable amount of English; otherwise, finding suitable employment will be challenging. You might think that leaving a new foreign wife at home all day is a good idea, and it could be, but Western culture tends to suggest that people should work. And you risk her getting incredibly bored all day without a job.
#8 – She Has The Wrong Motives
We’ve all heard the stories about women just marrying men so they could get a “green card” into the United States. However, the stories have validity and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Take them as a precautionary warning. It is essential to properly screen prospective women to learn about their true intentions with you and see if they are “wife-material.” It is easy to fall into the most common mistakes foreigners make when dating overseas. It is not a good idea to jump into a serious relationship or get married if you haven’t spent significant time with a woman, especially in person, to get to know them well.
#7 – Language Barrier
Language barriers are another big challenge in bringing a foreign wife to an English-speaking country. Perhaps that’s why the Philippines is so famous for finding wives. I’ve spent over a year traveling and dating in the Philippines, and there are many incredible women. But, the best part, when compared to other Southeast Asian countries like Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia, is that many of Filipinas are fluent in English.
Language barriers shouldn’t be the only factor to consider. They are a hurdle, but they can be overcome if the woman is committed to learning the language. Usually, an investment of a few thousand hours is enough to become fluent in English. For example, this article suggests that for a Thai woman to become conversational in English, she would only need 200-300 hours of study.
#6 – Bad Peer Influences In Your Home Country
Most men might think getting their new foreign wife some friends from her nationality is a great idea. For example, you might bring your Colombian wife to Canada and help her find some other Colombian women to be friends with who live in Canada as well. Generally, that seems like it would be a good idea. But I have heard horror stories from expats, including my buddy Dan, where the idea backfired badly.
My buddy Dan married a Filipina in the Philippines, who he described as “sweet, kind, and caring.” He brought her back to his home in California and found some local Filipinas living there with whom to make friends. However, he said, “The other Filipinas corrupted her and taught her how to manipulate me. Soon after, this sweet, loving woman changed to a woman who was asking for cars and houses. And she threatened to leave if I didn’t buy her those things.” Needless to say, the marriage didn’t last long.
Looking internationally for a wife? Check out: How To Find A Wife Overseas (For Western Men & Expats)
#5 – Difficult Cultural Adjustments For Your Wife
Beyond the language barrier, other cultural adjustments can encompass a wide range of aspects when a person from a foreign country moves to a Western country. Here are some examples:
- Food and Eating Habits: Adjusting to different cuisines, meal times, and the availability of familiar ingredients. For instance, someone who is used to eating rice three times a day might find this habit hard to maintain in a country where bread is the base food. Your pretty, petite wife could have difficulty keeping her slim figure while adjusting.
- Social Norms and Taboos: Learning and adapting to local customs about greetings, personal space, and social interactions which can vary significantly across cultures.
- Fashion and Dressing: Understanding what clothes are appropriate for various occasions and weather conditions, as well as local tastes and standards of modesty. Many foreign countries I have visited are much more reserved with what they choose to wear compared to Western cultures.
- Values and Attitudes: Understanding the local culture’s stance on punctuality, privacy, gender roles, and attitudes toward the elderly and authority figures. For example, punctuality is the biggest culture shock I’ve experienced in South America and Asia. It’s not considered rude for a woman to arrive an hour late to a planned meeting. As an American, I am very punctual and hate being late!
- Religious Practices: Encountering diverse religious beliefs, practices, and attitudes that can influence daily life, holidays, and community activities.
Beyond these, other transportation, healthcare, and education adjustments all play a role in becoming comfortable in a new country. I’ve learned through traveling that most people in the Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, and Colombia, for example, do not have cars. But in the United States, a car is nearly a necessity for basic activities such as grocery shopping.
#4 – Homesick, Missing Family
One of the biggest misconceptions that I hear about foreign women is that “they just want you for a green card.” Most women that I have dated would prefer to stay in their home country. Oftentimes, the main reason is that they do not want to live oceans away from their parents, siblings, grandparents, and everyone they know. The homesickness would be overwhelming. Although the allure of traveling temporarily with a foreigner is enticing, in my experience, most women do not want to make a permanent move.
#3 – She May Become Materialistic
One of the top reasons not to bring a foreign woman to your home country is the fear of her becoming materialistic. This may be due to various factors, such as Western advertising or peer influences, that make her feel like she needs more possessions to find happiness.
Nevertheless, this is one of the most common warnings among my expat buddies who have experience bringing a wife back to the United States. They told me how they met incredible, non-materialistic women living in Asia. They had met these “innocent” women who were seemingly happy having so few material possessions. Upon bringing them to the United States, the women quickly adapted to American culture and developed a thirst for stylistic clothing, cars, houses, and jewelry.
Check out my article: The 5 Best Countries To Find a Quality Wife Overseas.
#2 – The Risk Of Her Cheating On You
As a Western man, you may be enthralled with the low cost of living overseas while simultaneously dating beautiful foreign women. Here’s the problem: It’s a numbers game. While you may be “a catch” overseas, surrounded by so many exotic beauties that it is hard to pick from. But, when you bring an exotic beauty back to your home country, you become just a “regular Joe,” and she becomes the exotic catch. It’s a supply and demand issue.
A personal example is when I was dating a beautiful Colombian woman. She was stunning, and I felt lucky to have dated her. But, in Colombia, there are attractive women everywhere and few foreigners. It’s supply and demand. If it didn’t work out, I could probably find another Colombian girlfriend quickly.
However, if I brought her to the United States, the supply and demand issue would be flipped to the opposite. I would be a dime-a-dozen man, and she would be highly coveted. If you filter your prospective wife properly, you may avoid these issues, but it’s a risk you should be aware of. On top of that, other men in your home country could try to take her from you.
#1 – She’ll Lose Her Feminine Qualities
The most significant risk of bringing a foreign wife home is that she’ll lose her feminine nature and become Westernized. If you were seeking a foreign wife for those qualities, then you run the risk of losing them. Western men who are drawn to dating internationally typically do so because the gender roles of masculine and feminine are still intact. This means that women overseas usually have no problem maintaining the house by doing chores such as cooking and cleaning and trying to support their husbands.
In Western countries, such as the US and Canada, the feminine roles of the woman seem to be tumbling down and even frowned upon by society. Ideas of feminism and individualism have taken root. I’m not suggesting that they are bad ideas, nor are they evil women. However, it should be okay for men to have preferences and seek relationships that meet their needs. If relationships can develop with honesty and transparency of expectations, then ideally, both partners can mutually support each other to have a happy relationship.