As someone who has been to the Philippines many times and has dated several beautiful Filipina women, I understand the alluring draw of the Philippines. There seems to be a growing interest among Western men in finding and dating Filipina women overseas.
The Philippines offers this exciting opportunity, along with an exotic culture that many find both charming and culture-shocking. The popularity of dating sites like FilipinoCupid and PinaLove allow men to connect with Filipina women interested in dating foreigners, even before they arrive to the country.
Unlike in Western cultures, the Philippines has traditionally more conservative values when it comes to dating and relationships. Public displays of affection are frowned upon. Courtship often takes time, with the family’s approval being an important factor. Loyalty and respect are highly valued in relationships.
Paradoxically, I noticed that finding short-term relationships in the Philippines is a major draw for many Western men. As much as Western men are attracted to Filipina women, the flip side may be more true – Filipinas love Western men.
Understanding Filipino Dating Culture
Filipino dating culture tends to be more conservative, with courtships focusing more on getting to know one another before becoming a couple. Loyalty and commitment are highly valued in relationships. I have met several Filipinas who told me up front that they were “conservative” and only seeking a long-term relationship. It’s important to always be honest with them about your intentions.
However, dating foreigners tends to throw the rulebook out for many Filipinas. The possibility of dating a foreigner is often too good of a possibility for many Filipinas to pass up. The reason being that a Western man’s perceived financial position can provide her an improvement in lifestyle that otherwise would not be available to her.
It’s important for Western men to tread lightly, filter women properly, and be respectful to the pace of the courtship that she wants. Then, ideally a win-win situation can be created for both you and the Filipina woman.
Physical displays of affection in public are not common in Filipino dating culture. Hand holding, kissing, and other overt gestures are often frowned upon especially early in a relationship. Couples usually keep public affection to a minimum. It’s important to keep your Filipina date comfortable by waiting to kiss her in private and not trying to do so in public.
Westerners should understand that meeting the family is a significant event. Traditionally, when a Filipino man meets a Filipina woman, they usually introduce their partner to their families early on. But, in my experience, if you are a foreigner, I would suggest waiting to do that until you know you are serious about the relationship and ready to take a long-term step. I’ve heard stories of guys showing up to meet the family and the family treating it like an engagement announcement.
Family approval is very important in Filipino relationships. Families are closely involved throughout the relationship and engagement often only occurs once both families approve. She may keep her foreign boyfriend a secret (you) for awhile at first, but if she tells her family about you that means she has long-term intentions with you.
Tips for Impressing Filipina Women
When trying to impress a Filipina woman, it’s important to understand the more conservative dating culture in the Philippines. While extravagant displays may be impressive, Filipinas often appreciate sincere gestures and good manners more. They extremely value a man who doesn’t pursue sex immediately after meeting up. If you can wait a few dates with your urges, it will go a long way in her attraction for you.
One of the best ways to impress a Filipina is to embrace traditional gentlemanly actions like opening doors, pulling out chairs, and carrying bags. As cited from filipinos2meet.com, “Filipino women appreciate good manners”. Small chivalrous acts show your respect and interest.
Giving sincere compliments is also key. As Blossoms.com notes, try to compliment things she values about herself like her kindness, intelligence, or achievements. Avoid too many comments only on her appearance early on.
Show romantic interest consistently through frequent communication. But avoid “love bombing” or over-the-top gestures, especially in the beginning. Let the romance build gradually and focus more on emotional connection.
While gifts are appreciated, especially to family members, avoid extravagant or overly personal gifts early in dating. More modest gifts given with sincerity are your best bet.
Also see: 11 Self-Proven Gift Ideas To Get Your Filipina Girlfriend
When possible, try to meet in person soon. As dating experts note, this helps build attraction and connection more than long messaging. Travel to meet if sincere about the relationship.
Building a Strong Relationship
Building strong relationships with Filipinas depends on open and honest communication. Some tips for building a strong bond include:
- Communicate clearly about your thoughts and feelings, and listen attentively when she shares hers. Don’t make assumptions. As cultural differences, communication style and language barriers can lead to misunderstandings. Discuss things openly to maintain trust.
- Be reliable and follow through on plans you make together. Consistency helps build comfort and assurance that you are committed.
- Discuss future relationship goals openly to get on the same page. Filipinas value family, marriage and children, so see if your vision aligns. But don’t rush into big commitments too quickly.
- Respect her family and make an effort to get to know them. Family approval is very important in Filipino culture. Make a good impression and bond with her relatives.
- Learn about Filipino culture and values like respect for elders (po and opo), close family ties, hospitality, religion in daily life, food traditions, etc. Understanding this will help your relationship flourish.
For an in-depth guide of the most common problems you’ll likely face when foreigners date Filipinas, check out: The Most Common Problems w/ Solutions For Expats Dating Filipinas
Best Filipino Dating Sites and Apps
When looking to meet Filipino women online, using a Filipino dating site or app designed for that purpose can be very effective. Here are some of the most popular options for Western men trying to find Filipinas, including my favorite (FilipinoCupid):
FilipinoCupid – This is my #1 personal favorite dating website/app for the Philippines. Part of the Cupid Media network, this site has over 3.5 million members seeking relationships. Paid subscriptions unlock messaging features, but it is free to create a profile and browse the many beautiful women on the website. The site verifies profiles and has anti-scammer detection.
Tinder – A mobile app, Tinder probably has the most Filipino users over any other platform. The big problem for foreigners, including myself, is the abundance of ladyboys on the website. I found it to be annoying and don’t recommend using Tinder in the Philippines.
Bumble – Bumble, a mobile app, is quite decent in the Philippines. It tends to attract women that are more looking for serious relationships. The key feature of Bumble is that if you match with a woman, she is required to send the first message or the match will expire. It tends to lead to less flaking.
PinaLove – This semi-free dating app is specifically used for Filipina women looking for foreigner boyfriends. It is free to send one message every ten minutes, which is annoying but makes it “technically” free. If you want to send more messages you need to pay. The interface is simple and designed for mobile use.
DateInAsia – Once the top dating website in the Philippines, DateInAsia has slipped since the emergence of Tinder and so many other dating apps. It can still be useful as there are some beautiful women on there, but not as good as it once was. The big advantage is that it is completely free to use and message.
Badoo – Badoo has risen the ranks of dating apps for SouthEast Asia, as I have used it in other countries like Thailand and Vietnam as well. Anecdotally, I found many beautiful women on the app in the Philippines but the women did not seem very serious about meeting up.
TrulyFilipino – Billed as a premium Filipina dating site, it focuses on connecting relationship-minded singles worldwide. But, I have never heard of any foreigners actually mentioning the website. Verified profile badges help identify real and serious members.
While all these sites connect Western men with Filipina women, they each have slightly different audiences in terms of age demographics and relationship goal intensities. Considering your own preferences can help determine the optimal site or app to use.
The reasons I prefer FilipinoCupid for each time I travel to the Philippines:
- Seems to have the most beautiful women on it
- Seems to have the most amount of users (other than Tinder)
- Women are more serious about finding a foreign boyfriends
- Has the best filtering features (body type, english ability, attractiveness level, etc.)
- Far less ladyboys than Tinder and Bumble
For a more in-depth review of the most popular dating apps in the Philippines, check out my article: Top Dating Apps For Expats Looking For Pretty Filipinas
Also, read my article about how to avoid most common scams for online dating in the Philippines.
Filipina Dating Challenges
When dating Filipina women, there are some unique challenges that you may encounter. Here are some of the most common ones:
Language Barriers
Many Filipinas speak English well as a second language, but their comfort levels and proficiency can vary. I’ve found that in major cities like Cebu City, Manila, and Dumaguete, english levels are very high. But when you get out into the provinces the English levels diminish some.
Cultural Differences
Filipino culture is very different from Western culture. There can be differences in dating norms, family values, religion, and more that may take some adjustment. Doing your research on Filipino culture and being open minded can help navigating any cultural differences that arise.
Distance
Many relationships with Filipinas start out long-distance. The distance can make communication difficult at times. Setting a regular schedule for calls/video chats and having an end goal to eventually meet can help manage a long-distance relationship.
I have experience dating in a long-distance relationship with a woman in the Philippines. It can be tough. Eventually the relationship fizzled out from not being able to be in each other’s presence. Try to meet her in person as often and for as long as you can.
Immigration Concerns
If your relationship gets serious, immigration concerns may arise if you want your Filipina girlfriend to eventually move. Understanding the visa process in advance and seeking legal help can make immigration easier down the road.
Meeting Filipinas In-Person
Once you’ve established a connection online, the next step is to meet your Filipina girlfriend in person. This can be an exciting but nerve-wracking experience. Here are some tips for your first in-person meeting:
Travel Tips: Book your flight well in advance since prices increase closer to the travel date. Be sure your passport is valid for at least 6 months. The Philippines is hot and humid year-round so pack lightweight, breathable clothing. Exchange currency at the airport to have local pesos for taxis, meals, etc.
Safety: Use common sense precautions like avoiding deserted areas at night. Don’t flash money or valuables in public. Always keep your hotel room locked. Consider hiring a local guide for the first few days.
First Impressions: Dress nicely, but not over the top, and show you put in effort with your appearance. Bring a small gift like chocolates or flowers (if you are flying specifically to meet her in the Philippines). Greet her warmly but avoid overly affectionate PDA. Meet in a public place like a restaurant or mall. It is always expected for foreigners to pay for each date.
Planning Dates: The Philippines is a mall culture. I always book accommodation very close to a shopping mall so it is simple and easy to setup first dates. I recommend doing your first date in a public place, and the malls are the best place for that because they have tons of restaurants and coffee shops.
For future dates, remember that the Philippines has over 7000 islands. It offers a wide variety of fun and adventurous things to do. Some of my personal favorites are canyoneering in Kawasan Falls (Cebu) and swimming with whale sharks (Oslob, Cebu).
PDA: Public displays of affection are frowned upon in the conservative culture. Limit to hand holding, hugs or light pecks. Save passionate kissing and touching for private moments. Be respectful of local norms.
Long-Distance Relationship Tips
Maintaining a long-distance relationship with a Filipina can be challenging but rewarding if handled properly. Here are some tips for making it work:
Set up regular video chats using apps like WhatsApp, Instagram, or Facebook Messenger to stay connected face-to-face. In the past, Skype was very popular but not used much in the Philippines anymore. According to one Quora user, frequent communication is key: “Constant communication is a must. Take time to catch up on even the little things.”
Send thoughtful care packages with small gifts and notes to show you are thinking of them. As one Redditor advised when dating a Filipina long distance, “Care packages are huge.” Fill them with their favorite treats, photos, and small mementos.
Birthdays, Christmas, and celebrations are extremely important in the Philippines. Definitely send her a thoughtful gift on her birthday and for Christmas. On a funny note, Christmas music starts playing in the malls in September, which emphasizes just how much they love Christmas.
Plan visits as far in advance as possible and look for deals on flights. Talk honestly about eventually living in the same place again. According to one article, having an end goal and timeline in sight helps strengthen long-distance relationships with Filipinas. Keep communication open and positive while apart.
For an in-depth guide, check out my article on How To Maintain A Long-Distance Relationship With A Filipina.
Integrating Into Filipino Culture
Making an effort to integrate into your Filipina girlfriend’s culture is key to building a strong relationship. Here are some tips for immersing yourself in Filipino culture:
Learn some common Tagalog or Cebuano phrases like “Mahal kita” (I love you) or “Salamat” (Thank you). Even just a few words can make a difference. They love it when you attempt to say some phrases in their language, even if you butcher it, as it usually provides a good laugh for them.
One of the common phrases in the Philippines is “family is everything.” Get to know her family and friends. Filipinos have close family ties, so it’s important that her family likes you. Attend family gatherings to help build relationships and they will always treat you with a kind hospitality.
Try popular Filipino dishes like lumpia, adobo, and halo-halo. Food is integral to Filipino culture. Cooking and eating together can help you bond.
Appreciate Filipino traditions like festivals, church events, or holidays. Making an effort shows you respect her background.
Conclusion
Dating Filipina women can lead to loving and fulfilling relationships for Western men willing to put in the effort. The key takeaways are:
- Understand that family approval is very important in Filipino dating culture.
- Chivalry goes a long way. Display your sincere interest by being a gentleman, giving thoughtful compliments, and following through on plans.
- Effective communication and listening are vital for building a strong connection.
- Be open to learning about Filipino culture, values, and traditions.
- Use reputable Filipino dating sites like FilipinoCupid and PinaLove to expand your options.
- Meeting in-person and spending time together is key for developing a real relationship.
With the right approach to dating Filipina women, you can find the loving partner you seek. Be prepared to invest time and effort into the relationship, and keep an open mind and heart.